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Female Language Lesson

By: marvinPublished: 10/22/2002
 
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FINE
This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. 'Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "Do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different than "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    Very true Grand. (0 replies)
    started by kweenbee
    (10.24.2002 1:02:00 AM EST)

    My ex wife and I never even had hall sex. hahahahaha ^5 Marvin

    Love the country, live to pee outside!

    Doesn't your wife ..... (0 replies)
    started by thegrandpatron
    (10.22.2002 10:25:36 AM EST)

    have to be talking to you, before I can use any of this information?

    Who ever said, "Silence is Bliss". Has never met my wife or doesn't know the meaning of the word Bliss.

    Oh My God (2 replies)
    started by cookzone316
    (10.22.2002 6:08:09 AM EST)

    I've been married a month now and I could have used this two years ago. All the pain and suffering that could have been avoided. Goofball should make a section with this material in mind and call it "Words that men should know. This is great stuff. ^5

    I think, therefore I am not a drone! That is the Cook Zone way.

    Nothing (0 replies)
    started by marvin
    (10.22.2002 5:14:28 AM EST)

    is the one that always gets me.

    "What's wrong ?"
    "NOTHING!!!!!"

    I really know I'm in trouble then.

    Hehehehehe (0 replies)  
    started by tjshere
    (10.22.2002 3:25:05 AM EST)

    There would probably be a lot fewer divorces if women came with their own decoder ring.

    My schween is small but my tongue is mighty!
    I'm trying to look at things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

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