Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Cookies must be
enabled to log in

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"A lame duck session, for people who don't know what that means, it means the Senate is coming and the House is coming back between now and Christmas and they've got a few days to get some big things done."Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "President Bush Holds Press Conference, Presidential Hall, Dwight D. Eisenhower Executive Office Building," Nov. 7, 2002
 
 

Random Quote
 
"[I hope] my child will ge a good [Roman] Catholic like me."
— Madonna
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#161 The first TV network kids show in the U.S. was "Captain Kangaroo".
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping Tom?
A: A pickpocket snatches watches.
 
 


The First Time Can Be Painful

By: bd2sonPublished: 06/20/2004
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says "Doc, I'm getting married this week-end and my fiancée thinks I'm a virgin, is there anything you can do to help me?"

The doctor says, "Medically, no, but here's something you can try... On the wedding night, when you're getting ready for bed, take an elastic band and slide it up your upper thigh. When your husband enters you for the first time, snap the elastic band and tell him it's your virginity snapping."

The woman loves this idea, and knows her hubby-to-be will fall for it.

They have a beautiful wedding and retire to the honeymoon suite. The wife gets ready for bed in the bathroom, slips the elastic band up her leg, finishes preparing and climbs into bed with her man.

Things begin to progress, her hubby "slips it in", she snaps the elastic band, and the hubby screams...

"What the heck was that!!?"

The wife explains, "Oh nothing honey, that was just my virginity snapping".

The husband cries out, "Well snap it again, it's got my balls!!"

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Free Dating Tips For Men
Related Links
  • The Mathematics of Sex
  • Stupid sex laws
  • A Dog Named Sex
  • Sex Change Doctor on trial for Murder
  • Polish Sex Quiz
  • Marriage Brings As Much Happiness As $100,000
  • Sex-Toy Ban Fuels Lawsuit
  • Paris Hilton Sex Video
  • Love, Lust, and Marriage
  • Phone Sex Operator Injured in Line of Duty
  • Dating vs. Marriage
  • Safe Sex Attempts
  • Martian Sex
  • Arkansas Sex Test
  • Anal Sex Euphemisms
  • Man Sentenced For Forced Marriage To Niece
  • Superman's Sex Life
  • Magic Sex Shoes
  • The Top 10 Reasons Why Sex Is Better Than School
  • Sex On Sunday?

  • More Men / Women Jokes...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    What did she expect? (0 replies)
    started by tjshere
    (06.20.2004 10:07:41 AM EST)


    It was a nutty idea to begin with.

    my schween is small but my tongue is mighty!

    That would ..... (0 replies)  
    started by thegrandpatron
    (06.20.2004 8:18:23 AM EST)


    never happen to Roger.
    He just throws his over his shoulder, so they stay out of the way.

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    How To Speak Politically Correct
    How to speak ...
    07.24.2008

    Male Comebacks To Female Comebacks
    Man: Haven't I seen you some place before?
    07.22.2008

    Familiar Drunk
    This married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant ...
    07.21.2008

    The Bank Robbery
    A man with a gun went into a bank and demanded their money. Once he was given the money, he turned to a customer and asked, 'Did you see me rob this bank?'
    06.15.2008

    Rate This!

    4.09 Goofballs of 5
    11 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Men, Will They Ever Learn?
    A salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing ...
    07.08.2007

    Don't Touch Me
    An elderly couple are both lying in bed one morning, ...
    06.24.2007

    Freindship: Men vs Women
    A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house ...
    05.24.2007

    Onion And A Donkey
    What do you get if you cross a donkey with an onion? ...
    05.18.2007

    Two Years Ago
    Do You Know What
    A Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular ...
    07.07.2006

    Protection!
    A female truck driver decided to buy herself a big ...
    06.30.2006

    The Cure!
    A woman went to the doctor's office where she was ...
    06.23.2006

    Ole And The Policeman
    Ole was walking home late at night and sees a woman ...
    06.22.2006

    Lookie Here!
    The Spy Who Shagged Me

    Goofball Facts
     
    Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails.