Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Cookies must be
enabled to log in

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"I used the expression 'ride herd.' I don't know if anybody understood the meaning. It's a little informal in diplomatic terms. I said, we're going to put a guy on the ground to ride herd on the process. See them all scratching their heads."—Bush, realizing few people understand him when he speaks Source: New York Times, "The President's Trip, In the President's Words: 'A Mutual Desire to Work Toward the Vision," June 5, 2003
 
 

Random Quote
 
"Yes, the president should resign. He has lied to the American people, time and time again, and betrayed their trust. He is no longer an effective leader. Since he has admitted guilt, there is no reason to put the American people through an impeachment. He will serve absolutely no purpose in finishing out his term; the only possible solution is for the president to save some dignity and resign."
— William Jefferson Clinton, 1974, regarding Richard Nixon and the Watergate scandal
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#159 The first TV show ever to be put into reruns was "The Lone Ranger".
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so greasy she sweats Crisco!
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts!
 
 


How To Make A Woman Happy

By: bd2sonPublished: 11/06/2004
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

All you have to do is to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father figure
6. a teacher
7. an educator
8. a cook
9. a gardener
10. a carpenter
11. a driver
12. an engineer
13. a mechanic
14. an interior decorator
15. a stylist
16. a sex therapist
17. a gynecologist/obstetrician
18. a psychologist
19. a psychiatrist
20. a therapist
21. a good father
22. a gentleman
23. well organized
24. tidy
25. very clean
26. athletic
27. affectionate
28. affable
29. attentive
30. ambitious
31. amenable
32. articulate
33. bold
34. brave
35. creative
36. courageous
37. complimentary
38. capable
39. decisive
40. intelligent
41. imaginative
42. interesting
43. prudent
44. patient
45. polite
46. passionate
47. respectful
48. sweet
49. strong
50. skillful
51. supportive
52. sympathetic
53. tolerant
54. understanding
55. someone who loves shopping
56. someone who doesn't make problems
57. someone who never looks at other women
58. very rich

AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST PAY ATTENTION TO MAKE SURE YOU:
59. are neither jealous nor disinterested
60. get on well with her family, but don't spend more time with them than with her
61. give her her space, but show interest and concern in where she goes

ABOVE ALL IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO:
62. Not forget the dates of:
* anniversaries (wedding, engagement, first date...)
* graduation
* birthday
* menstruation

However, even if you observe the above instructions perfectly, you are not 100% guaranteed that she will be happy, as she could one day feel overcome with the suffocating perfection of her life with you and run off with the first wild bastard-bohemian-drunk-bon voyeur she meets...

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Let him play with your breasts !

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Related Links
  • Man Suspected of Killing Woman Over a Beer
  • How to impress a woman, a man
  • Man! I Felt Up a Woman!
  • Thirsty?
  • The Evolution of Man and Woman
  • Man Seeks Woman
  • Man's Body Lies Undisturbed for 20 Years
  • Man's Stomach Falls Out After Staples Removed
  • Woman's Instruction Booklet
  • The Blind Man and the Waiter
  • Man Left to Bleed to Death in Windshield
  • It's Great To Be a Man
  • Man Forced to Stay 11 Years at Paris Airport Now Won't Leave
  • Blind Man's Blonde
  • What If Dear Abby Was A Man
  • Embarrassing Moments: 'New Woman' Magazine
  • Why did the man cross the road?
  • The Old Man's Penis
  • Man suffers Burns from Gerbil Incident
  • Woman Sentenced For Breaking Into Brad Pitt's Home

  • More Men / Women Jokes...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    This Would Be Funny (0 replies)
    started by obxbeachbum
    (11.06.2004 9:42:52 PM EST)

    If it were not TRUE!!!!!!
    Good one here bd2son

    An end with horror is better than horror without end.

    lmfao (0 replies)
    started by bigjohn2
    (11.06.2004 4:41:08 PM EST)

    sounds accurate..

    Works for me (0 replies)  
    started by tjshere
    (11.06.2004 11:34:36 AM EST)


    It also explains why I'm single.

    Good one, BD. I'll leave ya a mess of goofballs.

    my schween is small but my tongue is mighty!

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    What's In A Name?
    A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted ...
    05.11.2008

    Seducing The Male
    Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, ...
    05.02.2008

    Ther Hired Hand
    The banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year-old rancher ...
    04.14.2008

    Flying A Kite
    A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. ...
    04.12.2008

    Rate This!

    4.11 Goofballs of 5
    19 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    New Haircut: Men vs Women
    Woman2: Oh! You got a haircut! ...
    05.08.2007

    ATM's - Male Vs. Female
    A sign in the local Bank Lobby reads: "Please note ...
    05.06.2007

    Mathematics
    Smart man + smart woman = romance
    05.05.2007

    Hillbilly Honeymoon
    Two hicks from West Virginia got married and were ...
    05.04.2007

    Two Years Ago
    A British Company Implants
    A British company is developing computer chips that ...
    05.11.2006

    Who Do I Look Like?
    There was a young couple living in an old run down ...
    05.10.2006

    A Sharing Marriage
    He ordered one hamburger, one order of French fries ...
    05.01.2006

    Pancakes
    Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the ...
    04.30.2006

    Lookie Here!
    The New Yorker 75th Anniversary Cartoon Collection

    Goofball Facts
     
    A dolphin's hearing is so acute that it can pick up an underwater sound from fifteen miles away.