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Assorted Goofiness
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George W. Bush |
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"We acted, and there are no longer mass graves and torture rooms and rape rooms in Iraq." —Bush, remarks at Victory 2004 Reception, Florida, April 23, 2004
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Random Quote |
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"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
— Vice President Dan Quayle to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/89 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)
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Snapple Facts |
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#150 The first sport to be filmed was boxing in 1894.
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Yo Mama ... |
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is like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in the gutter.
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One Liners |
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Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: By psychologically breaking down her confidence with a rigorous behavior modification schedule, alternating between sensory deprivation and sensory overload, thereby breaking down her conception of self, leaving her unable to resist outside suggestion.
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 Pending Marriage | | By: fpilch | Published: 07/30/2006 | | |  |
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My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less.
One day, "little" sister called me and asked if I could come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, ran outside and headed straight towards my car. Low and behold, my future wife’s entire family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, “we are very happy that you have passed our little test... we couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!"
And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car. Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com? | | | | Related Links
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| Lookie Here!
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Goofball Facts |
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The creator of the Waffle Iron did not actually like waffles.
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