"Jessica Simpson is here with us, which means we've finally introduced reality TV to the Lincoln Theater."—Bush, introducing the pop singer and reality TV star on March 14 at Ford's Theater in Washington (where Lincoln was shot). Source: Richard Leiby, The Washington Post, "Reliable Source," March 16, 2004
Random Quote
"I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically." — Steven Wright, Comedian
Snapple Facts
#209 The largest pumpkin ever grown weighed 1,061 lbs.
Yo Mama ...
so ugly she just got a job at the airport sniffing for drugs.
One Liners
Q: What's the definition of macho? A: Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
What do you get if you cross a donkey with an onion?
Most of the time you simply get an onion with long! ears . But every once in awhile, you get lucky, and get a piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.
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