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George W. Bush
 
"Our military is performing brilliantly. See, the transition from torture chambers and rape rooms and mass graves and fear of authority is a tough transition. And they're doing the good work of keeping this country stabilized as a political process unfolds." —Bush, remarks on "Tax Relief and the Economy," Iowa, April 15, 2004
 
 

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To All Men Traveling the Airways

By: RobnoxiousPublished: 12/02/1998
 
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The Gentleman had a serious problem. He had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but found it to be occupied. The stewardess noticed that he was walking funny, taking small steps, and with a look of pain and anxiety on his face. "Sir", she said; "The ladies restroom is unoccupied. You may use it if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."

He was about to pop, and would have promised anything, so he agreed to her terms. The relief was pure joy, and as he sat there, savoring the feeling, he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Three white buttons were identified by the letters "WW", "WA", and "PP", and there was one red button labeled "ATR". Who would really know if he touched them? He couldn't just sit there and resist a challenge like this, so he pushed the "WW" button. Warm Water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. Such a nice feeling came over him. The Men's restroom didn't have nice things like this. Anticipating even greater pleasure, he pressed the "WA" button. Warm Air replaced the warm water, wafted and swirled about, gently drying his underside. He knew what he was going to do when the warm air stopped, and without hesitation, he pressed the "PP" button. A large Powder Puff caressed his bottom, adding a fragrant scent of spring flowers to his unbelievable pleasure.

The ladies room was far more than a restroom; it was a place of tender loving pleasure! He could hardly wait for the powder puff to quit. When it did, he pushed what he knew was going to be the ultimate joy!

He knew he was in the hospital as soon as he opened his eyes. A nurse was staring down at him with a smirk on her face... "What happened?! How did I get here?! The last thing I remember, I was in the ladies restroom on a flight to Atlanta!!!"

"You pushed one too many buttons.", replied the nurse, as her smirk expanded to a grin. "That last button marked "ATR" is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow."

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