Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
BakerMedia
Busted Tees
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program."St. Charles, Mo., Nov. 2, 2000
 
 

Random Quote
 
"If only faces could talk ..."
— sportscaster Pat Summerall during the Super Bowl
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#82 August has the highest percent of births.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
 
 

One Liners
 
A Priest, a Rabbi and a Irishman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What, is this some kind of joke??"
 
 


Fix It

By: DirkSteelePublished: 09/11/1999
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now."

He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G.E. logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so."

"Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right." To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead? I don't think so."

"Fine," she says, "Then could you at least fix the steps to the front door? They're about to break."

"I'm not a damn carpenter and I don't want to fix the steps," he says. "Does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I don't think so. I've had enough of you. I'm going to the bar!"

So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple hours. He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home and help out. As he walks into the house, he notices the steps are already fixed. As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working. As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed. "Honey, how'd this all get fixed?"

She said, "Well, when you left, I sat outside and cried. Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either screw him or bake him a cake."

He said, "So, what kind of cake did you bake him?"

She replied, "Hellooooo... Do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead?"

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?


More Men / Women Jokes...

 

Search
 


Advanced Search
 
This Section

ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

You must register to participate in this discussion.
huhuo (0 replies)  
started by Anonymous Goofball
(02.23.2001 0:00:31 AM EST)

ygyigiygi

Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


Most Recent
Origina Pickup Chicks
A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Veuve Cliquot ...
10.01.2009

State-Of-The-Art Watch
A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes ...
08.28.2009

A Great Night In Tampa
A jumbo jet is making its final approach to Tampa ...
08.27.2009

Geography Of Women And Men
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
07.25.2009

Rate This!

3.09 Goofballs of 5
102 Viewer(s) rated

Rating the content is for registered users only.

Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    8 Words With Two Meanings
    1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female...... Any part under ...
    11.13.2008

    This One's For The Women
    He said . .. . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've ...
    11.12.2008

    Words That Have Two Meanings
    1. THINGY (thing-ee) , Female -- Any part under ...
    10.05.2008

    Here's Your Sign
    A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase ...
    10.04.2008

    Two Years Ago
    The Amish Daughter
    An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an ...
    11.16.2007

    The Happiest Day Of His Life
    It was the happiest day of his life ...
    11.07.2007

    The Wisdom Of Older Men!
    A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. ...
    10.26.2007

    Morning Love Poem
    Tyrone asked his work buddy, Robert, one morning, ...
    10.23.2007

    Lookie Here!
    Spy vs. Spy Casebook

    Casino Joke
     
    I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
     
     

    Goofball Facts
     
    A giraffe's tongue is so long he can use it to clean his ears.