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Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
BakerMedia
Busted Tees
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter
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George W. Bush |
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"See, we want everybody in this country, every person — we want the addict, we want the single lonely mom, we want the child, the dyslexic child — allto feel a part of the future of this country." —Bush, speaking in Dallas, Texas, on Oct. 29, 2003
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Random Quote |
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"The weather is here, wish you were beautiful.">
— Jimmy Buffet
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Snapple Facts |
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#180 The first VCR was made in 1956 and was the size of a piano.
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Yo Mama ... |
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hair is so short she curls it with rice.
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One Liners |
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Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both see Rubble when they look out their windows.
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 Fix It | | By: DirkSteele | Published: 09/11/1999 | | |  |
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A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife
interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway?
It's been flickering for weeks now."
He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light? Now? Does it
look like I have a G.E. logo printed on my forehead? I don't
think so."
"Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close
right." To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look
like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead? I don't think
so."
"Fine," she says, "Then could you at least fix the steps to the
front door? They're about to break."
"I'm not a damn carpenter and I don't want to fix the steps,"
he says. "Does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my
forehead? I don't think so. I've had enough of you. I'm going
to the bar!"
So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple hours. He starts
to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go
home and help out. As he walks into the house, he notices the
steps are already fixed. As he enters the house, he sees the
hall light is working. As he goes to get a beer, he notices the
fridge door is fixed. "Honey, how'd this all get fixed?"
She said, "Well, when you left, I sat outside and cried. Just
then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him.
He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was
either screw him or bake him a cake."
He said, "So, what kind of cake did you bake him?"
She replied, "Hellooooo... Do you see Betty Crocker written on
my forehead?"
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| Section Features
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| Two Years Ago
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Goofball Facts |
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The name of the dog from "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas" is Max.
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