Handy Guide To Decipher Personals Ads
By: thegrandpatron	Published: 07/28/2002
WOMEN'S ADS 40-ish.............. 49 Adventurer.......... Slept with all your friends Athletic............ No tits Average looking..... Has a face like a basset hound Beautiful........... Pathological liar Contagious Smile.... Does a lot of Ecstasy Educated............ Banged her Political Science professor Emotionally Secure.. Medicated Feminist............ Fat ballbuster Free spirit......... Junkie Friendship first.... Trying to live down reputation as a slut Fun................. Annoying Gentle.............. Comatose Good Listener........Borderline Autistic New-Age............. All body hair, all the time Old-fashioned....... Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs Open-minded......... Desperate Outgoing............ Loud and Embarrassing Passionate.......... Sloppy drunk Poet................ Depressive Schizophrenic Professional........ Certified Bitch Redhead............. Bad dye-job Reubenesque......... Grossly Fat Romantic............ Looks better by candle light Social.............. Has been passed around like an hors doeuvres tray Voluptuous.......... Very Fat Weight proportion w/ height... Hugely Fat Wants Soulmate...... Stalker Widow............... Drove first husband to shoot himself Young at heart...... Old bat MEN'S ADS 40-ish.............. 52 and looking for 25-yr-old Athletic............ Watches a lot of NASCAR Average looking..... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back Educated............ Will patronize the shit out of you Free Spirit......... Banging your sister Friendship first.... As long as friendship involves nookie Fun................. Good with a remote and a six pack Good looking........ Arrogant Very good looking... Dumb as a board Honest.............. Pathological Liar Huggable............ Overweight, more body hair than a bear Likes to cuddle..... Insecure mama's boy Mature.............. Older than your father Open-minded......... Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested Physically fit...... Does a lot of 12-ounce curls Poet................ Wrote ex-girlfriend's # on a bathroom stall Sensitive........... Cries at chick flicks Very sensitive...... Gay Spiritual........... Got laid in a cemetery once Stable.............. Arrested for stalking, but not convicted Thoughtful.......... Says "Excuse me" when he farts Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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Funny shit man.... (0 replies) started by acidinterval (07.29.2002 2:13:13 AM EST) way to go GP!! If you can't break the ice, trying to start a conversation... Drownd it

Yeah.... (0 replies) started by tjshere (07.28.2002 11:48:12 AM EST) These sound about right. LMAO @ how many of them indicate fatdom. Never fear.....TJ's here!

All I know is (0 replies) started by marvin (07.28.2002 4:44:55 AM EST) pesonal ads aren't written in English .... NS GSOH ?

let's not forget (0 replies)   started by arealladiesman (07.28.2002 1:51:42 AM EST) seeking long term relationship- feels guilty for something done in the past and wishes to punish himself for the rest of his life! If you don't stand for something, you'll fall to ANYTHING!

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