You know you're in a man's ideal world when:
Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.
Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response To "I love you."
When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the backside and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.
Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the football team of your choice.
At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you'd jump out your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.
Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!"
It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.
