1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big dick or a good memory. I don't remember what I chose.
2. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
3. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'
4. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
5. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
6. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
7. Virginity can be cured.
8. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
9. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
10. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
11. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
12. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......
13. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.
14. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
15. Despite the old saying, ' Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!!
