Bumper Stickers
By: angellbaby	Published: 03/20/1999
Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS? If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you! 100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest? Your gene pool needs a little chlorine. You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you! DON'T PISS ME OFF! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES. JESUS SAVES.... Passes It To Gretzky..He Shoots..He..Scores! Jesus is coming! Look busy! You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date! Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore. So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious. I need someone really bad...Are you really bad? Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. All men are idiots....I married their king. The more you complain, the longer God makes you live. IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. Out of my mind...Back in five minutes. Hang up and drive. Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips. I took an IQ test and the results were negative. Where there's a will...I want to be on it. It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. Don't drink and drive...You might hit a bump and spill your drink. We are born naked, wet, and hungry....Then things get worse. Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home. Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else. and the #1 bumper sticker of the week.............. Honk If You Want To See My Finger Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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you forgot one classic (0 replies) started by razor696 (12.15.2001 0:49:10 AM EST) wanna get laid? crawl up a chicken's ass and wait friends help you move out of your home, and into your new house. TRUE friends will stand there, watching you vacuum the floor, and wait until you're done to point out "missed a spot!"

here is the best ever... (1 reply) started by coleman22 (05.06.2001 3:04:42 PM EST) keep honking while I reload! cole

cats (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (02.08.2001 12:42:54 PM EST) lost your cat.....try looking under my tires; i like cats....they taste like chicken.

screw PORK (0 replies) started by WOODY000 (08.30.2000 11:14:37 AM EST) CAT, the other white meat.

My bumper sticker (0 replies) started by Stevenquinn (08.21.2000 4:51:33 PM EST) I'm noT as think as you stoned I am!!

B.S (0 replies) started by garthc (08.13.2000 2:55:03 AM EST) If this truck had guns on it. I'd be out of ammo.

smokedog (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (07.13.2000 9:45:44 PM EST) My bumper sticker, If you were any closer,they would classify you as a rectal thermometer!

Pretty funny (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (07.13.2000 2:38:50 PM EST) I give that list two thumbs up!

First (0 replies)   started by shaggy420 (06.19.2000 8:11:01 PM EST) Im first and nobody else is so hahaahahaha

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