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George W. Bush
 
"There's an old saying in Tennessee—I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says: Fool me once, shame on [pause] shame on you. [Pause] Fool me [long, uncomfortable, agonizing pause] you can't get fooled again."Source: The Washington Post, "The Reliable Source," Lloyd Grove, Sept. 18, 2002
 
 

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"When I was in Boy Scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street."
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Captain Johnson

By: RobnoxiousPublished: 08/30/2000
 
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The jumbo jet is just coming into the airport on its final approach. The pilot comes on over the intercom. "This is Capt. Johnson. We're on our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying with us today, and I hope you enjoy your stay in Toronto."

He forgets to switch off the intercom. The whole plane can now hear the conversation from the cockpit. The copilot says to the pilot, "Well skipper, watcha gonna do in Toronto?"

Now all ears in the plane are listening in to this conversation.

"Well," says the skipper, "First I'm gonna check into the hotel and take a nice, big crap. Then I'm gonna take that new stewardess out for supper, you know, the one with the huge boobs. I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room, and put it to her all night."

Everyone in the plane is trying to get a look at the new stewardess. She's so embarrassed that she runs from the back of the plane to try to get to the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes.

The old lady leans over and says, "No need to run, dear, he's gotta take a big shit first!"

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    thats my name (0 replies)
    started by CaptainJohnson
    (10.14.2000 0:01:43 AM EST)

    phat

    Heh. Old ladies... (0 replies)
    started by NakedCanuck
    (08.30.2000 10:39:58 AM EST)

    Any joke can be made funnier by using old ladies.

    The Naked CanuckEverybody is somebody else’s weirdo.

    Who knows? (0 replies)  
    started by oliverclozoff
    (08.30.2000 0:37:29 AM EST)


    Maybe she wants to give him a Blumpie!



    Fellow, American Association of Amateur Gynecologists

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