The Ever Growing Boil
By: Robnoxious	Published: 11/20/2000
Ralph, a computer software engineer, spends countless hours in front of the screen. One day, he sits down only to jump up from a horrible pain in his left butt-cheek. So he goes to the bathroom, pulls out a hand-mirror, drops his drawers and sees a large boil on his ass. So he pokes the head of the boil with a needle, squeezes out the pus, applies some disinfectant and covers the offending boil with a band-aid. Next morning, Ralph is seating himself in front of the computer when he leaps up and screams in pain. Rushing to the bathroom he notices the boil is the size of a golf ball. So he repeats the previous day's procedure. The morning after, Ralph discovers the boil is now the size of an orange and the stench of the pus gooping out of it is almost more than he can tolerate, so he decides to go to the doctor. On seeing Ralph's enormous boil, the doctor exclaims: "I'm sorry, but this is way beyond my expertise. I want you to see a specialist. He's just down the street from here," he said, handing Ralph a business card. As he painfully did up his pants, Ralph scanned the card: "Bert the Boil Sucker. #300, West 77th St. Satisfaction guaranteed." Bert gets Ralph to drop his drawers and takes a look at the offending boil. "That's a nasty one, I'll administer a local painkiller before I start." He does this and then to Ralph's surprise, Bert bites the head off the boil with his sharp teeth and begins sucking out and swallowing pint after pint of stinking greenish-yellow pus. He's almost finished when Ralph accidently farts and Bert screams: "Hey moron! Are you trying to make me sick?" Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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Sick (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (11.30.2000 11:31:57 AM EST) That has to be the sickest joke i ever read. U R Sick

cool (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (11.21.2000 6:53:03 PM EST) not abad jok eh!

Relax! (0 replies) started by DoubleBubble (11.21.2000 6:59:00 AM EST) Sure, it was rude, but it was funny. As a matter of fact, that's WHY it was funny! For those of you who can't handle this type of humor, you should seek out a Halloween riddles site. I'm sure there are plenty out there!

hey dickwipes, popups are the only thing keeping (0 replies) started by SuicideKing (11.21.2000 2:14:46 AM EST) this place running for the temporary moment, you wouldn't have a site to comment on gross (but very funny) things like this if those popups weren't there right now...this site takes up lots of servers costing $10,000 a month to run, and what with the last advertiser going belly up and stiffing his bills, goofball resorted to popups for the time being...you like this site, then you'll have to bare with it...maybe click a link on the popup or something to help out or something...bitchin like you own this shit §üΩïЀKìñG In case of emergency break glass with face

um, (0 replies) started by SuzieQ (11.20.2000 9:42:04 PM EST) ewwwwwwwwwwww! gross!

Kaptain Aype (0 replies) started by KaptainAype (11.20.2000 8:15:11 PM EST) A new profession.... IF YOU'RE FROM INDIA! -=KaP'N AyPe=- You Filthy Ape Ass Bitch!!! <^>(0¿o)<^> SAY NO TO PIRATES!!!

Totally stupid (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (11.20.2000 6:05:47 PM EST) I'm 11. I don't find it funny. It's stupid. It's as stupid as the story "Once there were 2 kids who lived happily ever after. The End."

Totally (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (11.20.2000 6:01:11 PM EST) I'm 11. I don't find it funny. It's stupid. It's as stupid as the story "Once there were 2 kids who lived happily ever after. The End."

Not funny (0 replies) started by thadvick (11.20.2000 4:10:48 PM EST) Some things are so disgusting that they're funny, whereas other things are just disgusting. This is just disgusting. I can imagine *maybe* a 12-year-old laughing at this.

I haven't seen (0 replies) started by DaddysLittleGirl (11.20.2000 12:29:07 PM EST) a single pop up menu, what are you talking about? A Hard Man is good to find.

what the fuck!!!!! (0 replies) started by scubani (11.20.2000 8:23:31 AM EST) stop with the annoying ass pop ups!!!!!

THAT (0 replies) started by someguy17 (11.20.2000 1:43:56 AM EST) wasn't even all that funny either!

that was nasty... (0 replies) started by rook30505 (11.20.2000 1:37:06 AM EST) and not funny. What did I do today?Nothing,absolutely nothing.And you know what? It was everything I thought it could be.

Thats.. (0 replies) started by mizike (11.20.2000 0:49:06 AM EST) fucking nasty.

THAT IS (0 replies)   started by donut38 (11.20.2000 0:06:21 AM EST) JUST GROSS

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