Helpful Tips From Goofball.com
By: Robnoxious	Published: 02/12/2001
Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know. Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the curb. Lose weight quickly by eating raw pork and rancid tuna. I found that the subsequent food poisoning/diarrhea enabled me to lose 12 pounds in only two days. Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast wipe whenever you leave your car parked illegally. No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off. Apply red nail polish to your nails before clipping them. The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a contrasting polish should be selected). If a person is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down their throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed. Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whiskey. The following morning you can create the effects of hangover by drinking a thimble full of dish washing liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall. Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
Watch the latest videos on YouTube.com
Related Links Tips on love by kids age 5-10. Runaway Bride Takes The Cake Computer Viruses Car Thief Puts Himself In The Picture Reform school for drivers Hot Line Health Advice Replaced by Phone Sex Mastercard Commercial for Men Al Pacino The Devil Made Me Cut Off My Penis Ken's Letter To Santa Beer Goggles The Gateway to Heaven Funny Signs Number 1 She Must Have Served One Hell Of A Cocktail The nude Sunbathers JFK Jr.'s Private Plane Emergency Instructions There is more than 1 way to cut the grass More Masturbation Euphemisms II Toothache? Come To My Bedroom Docking
More Miscellaneous Jokes...
Search   Advanced Search   This Section

ARTICLE FORUM LIST
You must register to participate in this discussion.

Genie in a Bottle (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (04.27.2001 2:44:39 PM EST) There was a pizza delivery boy who was delivering a pizza to this big house. It was a nice house and all, but it was made completely out of iron. The boy walked up to the door and rang the bell. A guy answered and said "Oh, pizza's here." and began digging in his pocket for money. The boy hears this beautiful music in the background, and looks behind the guy and sees this foot-tall dude playing the piono with extrodinary expertise. The kid says, "Where did you get that little dude?" The guy tells him that a genie gave it to him. He says the kid can ask it for anything he wants. So the kid says, "I want a million bucks!" And behind him appears one million ducks. The kid says to the genie, "What the f*&K? I asked for money, not birds!" So he goes back to the guy and says, "This genie is crap!" The guy looks at him a second, and then says, "Hey, kid. Do you really think that I asked it for a twelve-inch peanist and walls of steel?"

Stolen from Viz (0 replies) started by Gantlord2 (02.15.2001 8:27:12 AM EST) These have been stolen from the UK magazine Viz. If you're stealing someone else's shit, at least give them some credit.

Dad??? (0 replies) started by thelizard (02.13.2001 8:48:28 AM EST) Dad, Is that you ??? Poison Clan rocks the world !!!!

Dad??? (0 replies) started by thelizard (02.13.2001 8:47:39 AM EST) Dad, Is that you ??? Poison Clan rocks the world !!!!

some good advise (0 replies)   started by blazed3wayz (02.12.2001 5:45:33 PM EST) i'll try the last point. it not what you can do for your country, it's how your country can fuck you over.

Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.