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George W. Bush
 
"This is a world that is much more uncertain than the past. In the past we were certain, we were certain it was us versus the Russians in the past. We were certain, and therefore we had huge nuclear arsenals aimed at each other to keep the peace. That's what we were certain of...You see, even though it's an uncertain world, we're certain of some things. We're certain that even though the 'evil empire' may have passed, evil still remains. We're certain there are people that can't stand what America stands for...We're certain there are madmen in this world, and there's terror, and there's missiles and I'm certain of this, too: I'm certain to maintain the peace, we better have a military of high morale, and I'm certain that under this administration, morale in the military is dangerously low."-Albuquerque, N.M., the Washington Post, May 31, 2000
 
 

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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
— J. Danforth Quayle
 
 

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#89 The average American walks 18,000 steps a day.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
 
 

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Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?
A: Miracle Whip.
 
 


Nursery Rhymes That Never Made It

By: VirtualJulPublished: 04/27/2001
 
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Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two hunks of bread.

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept beside her,
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.

Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you dickhead.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
said "F*&^k him, He's only an egg."

Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's ass
and turned it's wool to nylon.

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
to have A little fun.
Jill, that dill
Forgot her pill
and now they have a son.

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.

Little Boy Blew.
Hey. He needed the Money.

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    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    Lame (0 replies)
    started by aureenmay
    (04.30.2001 3:59:55 PM EST)

    Really lame.

    To Hell With The Goose (0 replies)
    started by Anonymous Goofball
    (04.29.2001 9:46:17 PM EST)

    How about the diceman

    Diceman (0 replies)
    started by A44ever
    (04.29.2001 6:46:31 PM EST)

    Have you ever heard of Andrew Dice Clay?, you plagerising prick?

    A44ever

    Dice Lives!!!!! (0 replies)
    started by ThaRob
    (04.29.2001 12:24:35 PM EST)

    Dice lives!!!!!!!

    Since the prehistoric ages, to the days of ancient Greece, right down to the Middle Ages, planet Earth kept goin through changes. Then the renaissance came, and times continued to change. Nothing stayed the same, But there were always RENEGADES!

    there once was a man from nantucket... (0 replies)
    started by raindrop78
    (04.27.2001 9:27:52 AM EST)

    nursery rhymes are about getting drunk and having sex. drugs too. jack and jill were drunk as shit.

    a nudder mary (0 replies)
    started by Anonymous Goofball
    (04.27.2001 8:49:16 AM EST)

    Mary had a little sheep
    she took with her to bed to sleep
    the sheep turned out to be a ram
    and mary had a little lamb.

    Errrr (0 replies)
    started by sted5
    (04.27.2001 5:35:56 AM EST)

    Mary had a little lamb she kept it in a bucket every time she let it out the dog would try to fuck it.

    Yummm (1 reply)
    started by Anonymous Goofball
    (04.27.2001 2:26:21 AM EST)

    Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
    Eating curds of whey
    Along came a spider
    And she ate it too!

    Here's one... (0 replies)
    started by OliverClozoff
    (04.27.2001 1:35:17 AM EST)


    There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,
    She had so many children,
    You could stretch her cunt over a tree stump!



    President, American Association of Amateur Gynecologists

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