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	George W. Bush
	"It was just inebriating what Midland was all about then."-From a 1994 interview, as quoted in First Son by Bill Minutaglio

	Random Quote
	"He was a wise man who invented beer." — Plato

	Snapple Facts
	#117 The starfish is the only animal that can turn its stomach inside out.

	Yo Mama ...
	is so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'

	One Liners
	Q: Why is being in the military like a blowjob? A: The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

Most Recent
	Montana Cowboy A Montana cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the ... 05.16.2008 How The Fight Started With Grumpy So there we are alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car and you know how you just-get-sooo-stressed and life-stuff seems to get funny? ... 05.15.2008 Senior Driver Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. 05.14.2008 Modern Medicine Saves the Day Ted wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness ... 05.07.2008

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Section Features
	Top Ranked Items

One Year Ago
	A Well Planned Life Two women in their 80's met for the first time since ... 05.17.2007 Just Plain Bull Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them ... 05.16.2007 Traffic Cop Vs. Violator A motorcycle officer stops a man for running a red ... 05.12.2007 The Work Out Week at the Gym: A man's story If you read this ... 05.11.2007

Two Years Ago
	Father Of One Of My Kids A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman wave at him and say hello. He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you Know me?" 05.17.2006 How To Call The Police George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going ... 05.12.2006 The Seven Dwarfs The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they ... 05.08.2006 Biker Granny She knocked on the door of a local biker club and a big, hairy, bearded biker ... 04.26.2006

Lookie Here!
	Always postpone meetings with time wasting morons

	Goofball Facts
	The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.