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George W. Bush
 
"It's good to see so many friends here in the Rose Garden. This is our first event in this beautiful spot, and it's appropriate we talk about policy that will affect people's lives in a positive way in such a beautiful, beautiful part of our national - really, our national park system, my guess is you would want to call it."-George W. Bush, Feb. 8, 2001
 
 

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Questions For The Ages

By: VirtualJulPublished: 07/23/2002
 
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Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, "My name is Joe, and I am an alcoholic"?

Why are they called "stairs" inside, but "steps" outside?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

If you mated a bulldog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?

If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?

Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries have a 'use by' date?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no-one would eat?

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out"?

What do people in China call their good plates?

Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but not to their crotch when they ask where the toilet is?

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    I only have one response (0 replies)
    started by thegrandpatron
    (07.23.2002 8:52:21 AM EST)

    "Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?"

    The only time I see a woman keep her mouth closed, is when I ask for a Blow Job.

    The Toaster thing I've never thought of either.

    Glad I'm a Goof (0 replies)  
    started by marvin
    (07.23.2002 3:28:28 AM EST)

    so I can laugh at these, unlike a philosopher.

    Nice one Juls ;-)

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