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	George W. Bush
	"I think it's important for those of us in a position of responsibility to be firm in sharing our experiences, to understand that the babies out of wedlock is a very difficult chore for mom and baby alike...I believe weought to say there is a different alternative than the culture that is proposed by people like Miss Wolf in society...And, you know, hopefully, condoms will work, but it hasn't worked."-Meet the Press, Nov. 21, 1999

	Random Quote
	"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy." — Tom Waits

	Snapple Facts
	#114 The oldest known animal was a tortoise and lived to be 152 years old.

	Yo Mama ...
	is so ugly doctors hire her to stand outside their offices to make people sick.

	One Liners
	Q: How do you know when you're REALLY ugly? A: Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.

Most Recent
	Montana Cowboy A Montana cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the ... 05.16.2008 How The Fight Started With Grumpy So there we are alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car and you know how you just-get-sooo-stressed and life-stuff seems to get funny? ... 05.15.2008 Senior Driver Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. 05.14.2008 Modern Medicine Saves the Day Ted wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness ... 05.07.2008

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Section Features
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One Year Ago
	A Well Planned Life Two women in their 80's met for the first time since ... 05.17.2007 Just Plain Bull Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them ... 05.16.2007 Traffic Cop Vs. Violator A motorcycle officer stops a man for running a red ... 05.12.2007 The Work Out Week at the Gym: A man's story If you read this ... 05.11.2007

Two Years Ago
	Father Of One Of My Kids A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman wave at him and say hello. He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you Know me?" 05.17.2006 How To Call The Police George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going ... 05.12.2006 The Seven Dwarfs The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they ... 05.08.2006 Biker Granny She knocked on the door of a local biker club and a big, hairy, bearded biker ... 04.26.2006

Lookie Here!
	Mug Shots : Celebrities Under Arrest

	Goofball Facts
	There are more chickens than people in the world.