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	George W. Bush
	"What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybodyelse is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position."-The San Francisco Chronicle, Jan. 21, 2000

	Random Quote
	"Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it." — Anonymous

	Snapple Facts
	#108 Licking a stamp burns 10 calories.

	Yo Mama ...
	is so ugly she made an onion cry.

	One Liners
	Q. How can you tell a Polish pirate? A. He has a patch over both eyes.

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	Phone Trouble A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company ... 06.13.2008 Hunting Accident An Iowa duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning ... 06.02.2008 Driving Test A professional juggler, driving to his next performance, ... 06.01.2008 Make A Noise Like A Frog A six year old goes to the hospital with his grandma ... 05.21.2008

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One Year Ago
	Mechanic Save Pilot's Life An Air Force Fighter Pilot with the 309th Fighter Squadron narrowly escaped serious injury recently when he attempted horseback riding with no prior experience. He mounted the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately began moving... 07.06.2007 Elephant Robbery A jeweler called the police station to report a ... 07.04.2007 Barber Shop Visit A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the ... 06.29.2007 Cleaning Chickens "Late again," the third-grade teacher said to little ... 06.23.2007

Two Years Ago
	How Not To Commit A Bank Robbery Here are some easy lessons gleaned from the experiences ... 07.01.2006 Things Learned The Hard Way 1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping ... 06.29.2006 Going On The Wagon I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and ... 06.18.2006 Fancy Watch Jake is struggling through a bus station with two ... 06.15.2006

Lookie Here!
	The Solo Joke Book

	Goofball Facts
	The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.