"The person who runs FEMA is someone who must have the trust of the president. Because the person who runs FEMA is the first voice, oftentimes, of someone whose life has been turned upside down hears from."Austin, Texas, Jan. 4, 2001
Random Quote
"I deny all the allegations and I defy the alligators!" — indicted Chicago alderman
Snapple Facts
#75 The average person makes 1,140 phone calls per year.
Yo Mama ...
is so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
One Liners
Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? A. Anyone can roast beef.
The college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing his class, and that there would
be only two acceptable excuses for being late. Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student's immediate family.
A student in the back of the classroom waved his hand and spoke up. "But what about extreme sexual exhaustion, professor?" As you would expect, the class exploded in laughter. When the students had finally settled down, the professor froze the young man with a glaring look.
"Well," he responded, "I guess you'll just have to learn to write with your
other hand."
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