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George W. Bush
 
"It is time to set aside the old partisan bickering and finger-pointing and name-calling that comes from freeing parents to make different choices for their children." -George W. Bush, on "parental empowerment in education," April 12, 2001
 
 

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"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
— Barbara Bush, former U.S. First Lady
 
 

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#9 The average speed of a housefly is 4.5 mph.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
... is so fat, When I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall.
 
 

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Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
 
 


Duck Tape

By: KChaggaPublished: 12/23/1999
 
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There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hot summer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of wire.

"Hey kid!" the farmer says. "Where ya goin' with that wire?"

"Well," the kid drawls, "this here ain't just any ol' wire, this here's chicken wire -- I'm fixin' to catch me some chickens!"

"You can't catch chickens with chicken wire!"

"Sure I can!" the kid says, and takes off down the road. He comes back at the end of the day and sure enough, he's got a whole mess of chickens caught in his chicken wire.

Well, the farmer's sitting on his porch the next day, and the same kid comes walking down the lane, carrying a big roll of tape.

"Hey kid!" the farmer yells. "Where ya goin' with that tape?"

"Well, this here ain't just any ol' tape, this here's duck tape --I'm fixin' to catch me some ducks!"

"You can't catch ducks with duck tape!" the farmer yells back.

"Sure I can!" the kid says, and takes off down the road.

He comes back at the end of the day and again, the farmer can't believe his eyes. The kid had a whole bunch of ducks all wrapped up tightly in his tape.

The next day the farmer's sitting on his porch again, and the kid comes walking down the road carrying a stick.

"Hey kid!" the farmer says. "Where ya goin' with that stick?"

"Well, this here ain't just any old stick, this here's pussy willow."

"Hang on," the farmer says. "I'll get my hat."

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You must register to participate in this discussion.
just dont get it (0 replies)
started by hairballz
(11.30.2001 0:37:45 AM EST)

I got a download about 6 months ago
and I see its just now on the top of your video downloads. you suck!

stuck in the cats throat!

Loser..... (0 replies)
started by jamis100
(12.26.2000 10:57:11 PM EST)

Geez anonymous, nobody CARES! Fucking moron....it's a play on words. Your the moron.

Lol, it's a funny joke....just picture an old man on his little rocking chair on his front porch jumping up and running inside his house.....lol

Tequila! Have you paid homage to the porcelain god lately?

Duh (0 replies)
started by Anonymous Goofball
(12.23.2000 2:33:09 PM EST)

You fucking moron, it's DUCT tape not DUCK tape. The tape is used to seal DUCTS for air conditioning/heating systems. Hence the color of the tape (aluminum/dark grey, just like a DUCT.) Duck. Bahahahah. Do some reasearch first idiot!

ducktape (0 replies)
started by jbgreen
(12.04.2000 4:15:42 PM EST)

Hope you enjoy this.

Hang on!! (0 replies)
started by arenem99
(09.10.2000 5:25:03 AM EST)

I'm gettin' my hat too!!

um (0 replies)  
started by Goffyman3
(08.13.2000 10:29:03 PM EST)

FRIST!!!!

hello

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