"The man next door has a large erection in his back garden,
which is unsightly and dangerous."
"The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children
until it is cleared."
"I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired
and burnt my knob off."
"This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from
the man next door."
"The toilet seat is cracked: Where do I stand?"
"I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away
from wall."
"I request your permission to remove my drawers in the
kitchen."
"Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three
pieces."
"Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk.
Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant."
"Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and
would like a third, so will you please send someone to do
something about it."
"Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a
funny color and not fit to drink."
"Would you please send a man to repair my downspout. I am an
old age pensioner and need it straight away.
"Could you please send someone to fix our bath tap. My wife
got her toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable for us."
"I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every
morning at 5:30 his cock wakes me up, and it is getting too
much."
"When the workmen were here they put their tools in my
wife's new drawers and made a mess. Please send men with clean
tools to finish the job and keep my wife happy."
