Country
By: Ted	Published: 06/13/2000
Good person, Country "music" has been cast in a dark light for many years. The reason for this is stereotyping. Country music has been pigeonholed; and therefor, not seen for the entire spectrum that it truly is. To help you appreciate Country "music", I have related it to present day culture as it pertains to popular television programming. But first, a review of the stereotype. Country "music"...as you know it. Boy meets girl. Girl dumps boy. Boy sits in his pick-up truck and gets drunk. Boy then sings about getting drunk in his pick-up truck and about lost relationship. Boy gets dumped by many, many girls. Boy does a lot of drinking and a lot of singing. Then, one day, he starts to become famous. Boy now has sex with many, many girls. Ultimately, boy ends up in his pick up truck alone and dead from drinking. Country "music" related to popular Television. Country "music"...on Jeraldo: Boy meets girl. Girl dumps boy. Jeraldo determines that they both need therapy, and pays for it. During the process of healing, boy sits in his pick-up truck, gets drunk, and sings about lost relationship. Boy then comes back on Jeraldo to sing about getting drunk in his pick-up truck and singing about lost relationship. Boy is an instant success. Country "music"...on Oprah: Boy meets girl. Girl realizes through reading, and self-realization through self-growth, that she disserves a "better" boy. Girl starts a woman's only singing support group. Girl sings about a boy who sits in his pick-up truck, and gets drunk, and then sings about getting drunk in his pick-up truck and sings about a lost relationship. Girl sleeps with a music producer and becomes an overnight success. Country "music"...on Rose: Boy meets girl. Girl dumps boy. Boy sits in his pick-up truck and gets drunk. Girl gives Rose an Elmo doll that is wearing a Tom Cruse facemask and a tuxedo. Rose goes back stage for a short while. When Rose returns, the doll is wearing only the mask. Rose then sings about anything. Country "music"...on Professional Wrestling: Boy stocks girl professional wrestler. Girl body-slams boy on sidewalk. Boy no longer even remembers girl's name, or his own. A clip of the "incident" is used as the weekend hi-light. In the background of the hi-light is the voice of the professional announcer as he sings about the "incident". Country "music"...on Jerry: Toothless boy meets topless dancing girl. Girl loves boy, but dumps him because he does not respect who she secretly is. Girl turns out to be a pre-op, cross-dressing, transvestite, porn-star. Boy was already cheating with girl's best friend, who is now three months pregnant. Girl's best friend was already cheating with boy's male friend who is also the boy's songwriter. Boy and songwriter throw chairs at each other. Girl-boy and her best friend claim to love each other. They call each other "Ho". Each claims that boy is "her man". Girl-boy and her best friend start to "cat-fight". Jerry gets turned on. He takes Girl-boy and her best friend home. Steve sings the "Closing Thoughts" and reminds us all to, "be good to each other". I would relate Country "music" as it pertains to the nightly news. But, it's too depressing. I hope that this review has enlightened you and helped erase country "music" stereotyping. Have a musical day. Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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The worst part... (0 replies) started by DirtyDingusMcGee (06.15.2001 9:41:10 PM EST) The worst part is that at least two people thought this was funny: the sorry ass bastard that wrote it and somebody with goofball that decided to post this shit. That makes me sick. Nobody cuddles with Max Power, you strap yourself in and feel the Gs.

fuck (1 reply) started by asdf (06.15.2000 9:43:43 PM EST) I hate you all

A wise man once told me... (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (06.14.2000 9:28:40 PM EST) A wise old man once told me that a fly sitting on the edge of a toilet seat often gets pissed off!

ok (0 replies) started by dnilbe (06.14.2000 9:12:25 PM EST) This joke could have been better, if it had been about one page shorter. Oh, yeah, and it could have used some Gay Black Jews. Umm, yeah

country sucks (0 replies) started by endo (06.14.2000 7:42:28 PM EST) I did not waste my time reading this joke, so I decided to spend the time I would have writing this. Aren't I ingenious? Besides country sucks the music is all the same just like those faggoty boy and girl bands. EndO

anohter one (0 replies) started by spoiler (06.14.2000 12:39:25 PM EST) I did not waste my time reading this joke, so I decided to spend the time I would have, writing this. Aren't I ingenious?

I could've... (0 replies) started by assmasternumber1 (06.14.2000 3:52:29 AM EST) Went to the bathroom, shitted, took the PIECE of shit of my choiceand taught it to read, write, AND add(the things that the pig fucker that wrote this shit can't do) and on the little shit's 1st birthday, it could've said something funnier than that.WHAT THE FUCK?!???!???!!!! Country music? WHO CARES??? I don't. You don't. Hell even Garth Brooks's faggot ass don't give a fuck. So fuck him and fuck YOU, GOOFBALL, I'm going back 2 old porno, bitch. FUCK YOU!!! No, not you, YOU! No, no, no, not you... all right, FUCKIT!!! FUCK YOU ALL!!!

thought provoking (0 replies) started by peepeehead (06.14.2000 1:23:28 AM EST) i stopped reading after the first paragraph. is this a good joke? i am a well respected reverend who blesses "civil unions" between cauliflowers and tape dispensers, which is usually frowned upon in my state, for some reason.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA (0 replies) started by dtshoecousa (06.14.2000 0:32:15 AM EST) this has gotta be the biggest load of bs that i have ever read goofball you suck

this is a waste of thinking (0 replies) started by spoony (06.13.2000 11:34:32 PM EST) this sucks bad

what the fuck? (0 replies) started by HairyJew (06.13.2000 7:33:08 PM EST) how in the fuck was that a joke? that shit has got to be the most boring shit ive read in my life. my iq just dropped 3 points for having read that shit this registration shit to look at goofball is total fucking bullshit. goofball kicked ass the way it was before and now it sucks total fucking dick. fuck you goofball. fuck you in your nigger ass. jabroni.

So finally (0 replies) started by buffguy (06.13.2000 6:22:31 PM EST) Country boy gets dumped by girl, then sits at computer and writes boring fucking story in wich nobody cares about........

No.. It does (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (06.13.2000 6:10:41 PM EST) Like many below.. I got about 1/4 of the way through and gave up.. repetative bunch boring shit. Not humerous in the least

goofball is startig to suck (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (06.13.2000 4:19:13 PM EST) that sucked big corny shit

That completely sucked (0 replies) started by JohnnyBoy729 (06.13.2000 1:24:25 PM EST) I read that whole piece of crap just hoping it would be funny. Dont't put anymore crap like this on goofball, just jokes and "funny" stuff.

Anonymous (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (06.13.2000 1:15:19 PM EST) I don't like country music. But I don't see how you can be so analytical....when you can't even spell.

that was a waste of my time and clicking effort (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (06.13.2000 1:02:05 PM EST) that was a tremendous waste of time, and i do not think that the energy used by by indx finger to clik down the page was worth it. the joke was too long and sucked. fuck you ted

You'll notice..... (0 replies) started by NakedCanuck (06.13.2000 10:24:25 AM EST) the constant use of quote marks when refering to Country "music". The Naked Canuck Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo.

Too Freakin' Long & Ridiculous (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (06.13.2000 9:24:01 AM EST) For the love of Christ, who the hell decided to quit their minimum wage job & write this crap? This guy spends too much time jerking off to Dolly Parton music.

countrymusicsucks (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (06.13.2000 0:39:25 AM EST) it feels sooooooo gooood to be num 3 its my lucky number

It's too bad... (2 replies) started by OliverClozoff (06.13.2000 0:23:40 AM EST) ...that no one ever thought of relating country "music" to music. ;o)

1st (0 replies)   started by Anonymous Goofball (06.13.2000 0:11:47 AM EST) this is the stupidest shit i've read in a while

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