Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Cookies must be
enabled to log in

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"Well, I think we need to work with governments and institutions and NGOs to encourage the institutions of a free society," Bush said. "See, one of the interesting things in the Oval Office - I love to bring people into the Oval Office - right around the corner from here, and say, this is where I [have an] office, but I want you to know the office is always bigger than the person." - The Washington Post, "Rocking the Vote in the Middle East," Feb. 20, 2004
 
 

Random Quote
 
"You know the one thing that's wrong with this country? Everyone gets a chance to have their fair say."
— President William Clinton 5/29/93
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#31 The average human will eat an average of 8 spiders while sleeping.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
... is so fat, She could sell shade.
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
 
 


Parents Getting Divorced

By: thegrandpatronPublished: 03/29/2002
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

An old man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing, forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man said. "We're sick and tired of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her." And he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like heck they're getting a divorce," she shouts. "I'll take care of this."

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" And she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Related Links
  • Messy Divorce
  • Actual Excuse Notes from Parents
  • Parents Stow Baby In Locker, Go To Dinner
  • Divorce Lawyers Take Note
  • Divorce Barbie
  • Woman Gets Divorce From Dirty Husband
  • Top Ten Things Not To Say To Parents When Picking Up A Date:
  • Wife Sues For Divorce After Sexual Rebuff
  • 70 Year Old Parents To Be?
  • Divorce Court
  • Divorce Trophy
  • Divorce Is Never Easy
  • Divorce Demons
  • Cool Parents
  • Priceless Divorce Picture
  • Meet The Parents
  • Divorced Barbie
  • Senior Citizens Given Book on Parenting Before Wedding
  • Pushy Parent Makes Her Point
  • Monique Parent in 'Stripshow'

  • More Miscellaneous Jokes...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    I've learned that.... (1 reply)
    started by thegrandpatron
    (03.29.2002 6:55:26 AM EST)


    .... the best part of being a Smartass is, at least your smart.

    reminds me of that... (0 replies)
    started by acidinterval
    (03.29.2002 4:32:06 AM EST)

    1-800-collect commercial...
    "bob wehadababyitsaboy"

    " Good Friday!! it's good enought for a day off work.. hey I ain't complaining "

    LMAO !! (0 replies)
    started by tjshere
    (03.29.2002 3:56:02 AM EST)

    That old goat is as clever as he is cheap.. I wonder if he can scam them into bringing the food?

    Check out that tongue action!
    Never fear.....TJ's here!

    Does that really work ? (0 replies)
    started by marvin
    (03.29.2002 2:15:20 AM EST)

    Divorce is so common these days I doubt it would.

    now that.... (0 replies)  
    started by dtahellyeah
    (03.29.2002 1:21:57 AM EST)

    is one cheap ass bastard,but yes i am coming for thanksgiving dad.

    Don't Trust Anyone

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    Montana Cowboy
    A Montana cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the ...
    05.16.2008

    How The Fight Started With Grumpy
    So there we are alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car and you know how you just-get-sooo-stressed and life-stuff seems to get funny? ...
    05.15.2008

    Senior Driver
    Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
    05.14.2008

    Modern Medicine Saves the Day
    Ted wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness ...
    05.07.2008

    Rate This!

    3.50 Goofballs of 5
    8 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Just Plain Bull
    Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them ...
    05.16.2007

    Traffic Cop Vs. Violator
    A motorcycle officer stops a man for running a red ...
    05.12.2007

    The Work Out
    Week at the Gym: A man's story If you read this ...
    05.11.2007

    Second Career
    Tom was in his early 50's, retired and started a second ...
    05.10.2007

    Two Years Ago
    How To Call The Police
    George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going ...
    05.12.2006

    The Seven Dwarfs
    The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they ...
    05.08.2006

    Biker Granny
    She knocked on the door of a local biker club and a big, hairy, bearded biker ...
    04.26.2006

    Good Manners
    During class a teacher was trying to teach good manners. ...
    04.21.2006

    Lookie Here!
    The Spy Who Shagged Me

    Goofball Facts
     
    The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.