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Assorted Goofiness
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George W. Bush |
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"This is a world that is much more uncertain than the past. In the past we were certain, we were certain it was us versus the Russians in the past. We were certain, and therefore we had huge nuclear arsenals aimed at each other to keep the peace. That's what we were certain of...You see, even though it's an uncertain world, we're certain of some things. We're certain that even though the 'evil empire' may have passed, evil still remains. We're certain there are people that can't stand what America stands for...We're certain there are madmen in this world, and there's terror, and there's missiles and I'm certain of this, too: I'm certain to maintain the peace, we better have a military of high morale, and I'm certain that under this administration, morale in the military is dangerously low."-Albuquerque, N.M., the Washington Post, May 31, 2000
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Random Quote |
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"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
— Vice President Dan Quayle
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Snapple Facts |
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#90 The average raindrop falls at 7mph.
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Yo Mama ... |
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is so stupid that she is sold the car for gas money.
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One Liners |
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Q: What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?
A: Her navel.
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 High Flying Managers | | By: misspk | Published: 11/20/2002 | | |  |
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A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and
spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the woman. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically
correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."
The woman below responded, "You must be in management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "But how did you know?"
"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are
going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You
made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people
beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same
position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault." Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com? | | | | Related Links
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More Miscellaneous Jokes...
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ARTICLE FORUM LIST |
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Good joke Miss PK!
(0 replies)
started by
spankboy
(11.20.2002 6:58:52 PM EST)
May I compliment you on your fine taste. (Don't read anything into that!)Aah! Son of a mother!
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Goofball Facts |
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On Sesame Street, Bert's goldfish were named Lyle and Talbot, presumably after the actor Lyle Talbot.
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Love the country, live to pee outside!
