Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Cookies must be
enabled to log in

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"But the true threats to stability and peace are these nations that are not very transparent, that hide behind the-that don't let people in to take a look and see what they're up to. They're very kind of authoritarian regimes. The true threat is whether or not one of these people decide, peak of anger, try to hold us hostage, ourselves; the Israelis, for example, to whom we'll defend, offer our defenses; the South Koreans." -George W. Bush, in a media roundtable discussion, March 13, 2001
 
 

Random Quote
 
"You know the world is off tilt, when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest basketball player is Chinese, and Germany doesn't want to go to war."
— Charles Barkley
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#13 Cats have over 100 vocal chords.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
... is so fat, She can't even jump to a conclusion.
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose?
A: 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 ass, 1 beaver, an unknown number of hares, and a fish no one can find!
 
 


Smart Dog

By: acidintervalPublished: 02/14/2004
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dachshund along for company.

One day the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about he notices aleopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.

The dachshund thinks, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the leopard is about toleap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terrorcomes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had me."

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.

But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."

Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers pretending he hasn't seen them yet and just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says, "Where's that monkey? I sent him off over half an hour ago to bring me another leopard."

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Related Links
  • German Teaches Dog Hitler salute
  • Dog Lip
  • Hot Dog Vendor
  • My Neighbor's Dog
  • Dog Learns To Sort Mail
  • Dog Gets Unique Memorial
  • Smart Glass Knows When It Needs Another Beer
  • Minnesota Man Shot by His Dog
  • Dog Freezer Lands In Jail
  • Dog Coughs Up a Couple of Karats
  • Dog Enlightened During a Walk in the Park
  • Burlington Recalls Dog Fur Coats
  • Dog Survives 24 Hours Buried In Avalanche
  • Thieves Snort a Line Of Dog
  • Feuding Cat and Dog Call Police on Phone
  • Flying Doghouse, Complete With Dog
  • University Degrees For Smart Pets
  • Hunter Loses Eye To Rifle-Firing Dog
  • Where my dog?
  • Dog in a Bathtub

  • More Miscellaneous Jokes...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    hahahahahahaha (0 replies)
    started by bigjohn2
    (02.15.2004 9:14:28 PM EST)

    great joke man

    Ah yes (0 replies)
    started by tjshere
    (02.14.2004 11:09:53 AM EST)


    When you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle `em with bullshit instead. Funny stuff, Acid.

    my schween is small but my tongue is mighty!

    That is ........ (0 replies)
    started by thegrandpatron
    (02.14.2004 10:01:53 AM EST)


    probably the same monkey
    that threw the coconuts
    at the mouse
    boinking the elephant.

    LMMFAO (0 replies)  
    started by thecritic
    (02.14.2004 0:25:09 AM EST)


    Now THAT was funny and one I've never heard..

    Thanks Acid

    Cowboys ain't easy to love

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    Jesus & The Redneck
    An Irishman in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one ...
    07.23.2008

    Things Difficult To Say
    Words and phrases that are hard to say ...
    07.20.2008

    Phone Trouble
    A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company ...
    06.13.2008

    Hunting Accident
    An Iowa duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning ...
    06.02.2008

    Rate This!

    4.07 Goofballs of 5
    14 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    How Did I Get Here?
    A young child asked her mother the age-old question, ...
    07.20.2007

    A Pair Of Chickens Go To The Library
    A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk ...
    07.15.2007

    Couldn't Spell
    Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly ...
    07.14.2007

    Stuttering Cat
    A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade ...
    07.07.2007

    Two Years Ago
    Cynmical Meanings
    Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with ...
    07.25.2006

    The Origin Of Chapstick
    The old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, ...
    07.23.2006

    Hook Line And Sinker
    After many years at sea, a pirate decided to retire. ...
    07.13.2006

    Fishy Redneck Story
    Two rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the ...
    07.11.2006

    Lookie Here!
    The New Yorker 75th Anniversary Cartoon Collection

    Goofball Facts
     
    Each day, more than $40 Trillion changes hands worldwide!