1. On the side of a firewood delivery truck: "Fulfilling all your burning desires!"
2. In a non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
3. On Maternity Room door: "Push, Push, Push."
4. On a front door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.
5. At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
6. On a Scientist's door: "Gone Fission"
7. On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
8. In a Podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."
9. On a butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs."
10. At a Used Car Lot: "Second Hand cars in first crash condition."
11. On a fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."
12. At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
13. Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."
14. Outside a Hotel: "Help Wanted. We need inn-experienced people."
15. At an Auto Body Shop: "May we have the next dents?"
16. In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
17. On a Music Teacher's door: "Out Chopin, Bach in a minuet."
18. At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill.
However, if you don't, you will be."
