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Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
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JokeDump
Mike's List
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George W. Bush |
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"I used the expression 'ride herd.' I don't know if anybody understood the meaning. It's a little informal in diplomatic terms. I said, we're going to put a guy on the ground to ride herd on the process. See them all scratching their heads."—Bush, realizing few people understand him when he speaks Source: New York Times, "The President's Trip, In the President's Words: 'A Mutual Desire to Work Toward the Vision," June 5, 2003
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Random Quote |
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"Yes, the president should resign. He has lied to the American people, time and time again, and betrayed their trust. He is no longer an effective leader. Since he has admitted guilt, there is no reason to put the American people through an impeachment. He will serve absolutely no purpose in finishing out his term; the only possible solution is for the president to save some dignity and resign."
— William Jefferson Clinton, 1974, regarding Richard Nixon and the Watergate scandal
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Snapple Facts |
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#160 One alternative title that had been considered for NBC's hit "Friends" was "Insomnia Cafe".
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Yo Mama ... |
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is so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her
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One Liners |
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Q: Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts!
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 Country Club Call | | By: tjshere | Published: 09/10/2004 | | |  |
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Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, ...go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2004 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$80,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing....the house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.
Then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?" Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com? | | | | Related Links
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Goofball Facts |
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Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
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