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Are You A Democrat, A Republican, Or A Southern Republican

By: bd2sonPublished: 12/18/2004
 
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Pose the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or Oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healther street that would discourage such behavior.

This is so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer:
BANG!

Southern Republican's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click....(sounds of reloading).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click.
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    fuck you (0 replies)
    started by ninnyhammer
    (03.26.2007 8:00:50 PM EST)

    i fuck you republican mother fuckers in your ass

    Bang (0 replies)
    started by obxbeachbum
    (12.19.2004 9:30:05 PM EST)

    Bang. I happen to be an expert marksman. The first one killed him, the second just felt good.

    Hahahaha, perfect!! (0 replies)
    started by tjshere
    (12.18.2004 9:42:04 AM EST)


    I guess I fall somehwere in between. I would have gone with the 3 round burst.

    ^5, BD! You're on a good roll here.

    my schween is small but my tongue is mighty!

    excellent... (2 replies)
    started by jimbobiglotto
    (12.18.2004 1:12:22 AM EST)

    and how true. I'm just a plain ol' republican. ; )

    I'd say more, but you'd use it against me when I run for office!

    Ain't this the damned truth (0 replies)
    started by thecritic
    (12.18.2004 1:04:15 AM EST)


    I love it

    Instant Classic

    Cowboys ain't easy to love

    Hahahahahahahaha!!!! (0 replies)  
    started by sy993588
    (12.18.2004 0:35:02 AM EST)

    ....that was hilarious...LMAO!!!!

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