"We had a good Cabinet meeting, talked about a lot of issues. Secretary of State and Defense brought us up to date about our desires to spread freedom and peace around the world." - Washington, D.C., Aug. 1, 2003
Random Quote
"To hell with the public! I'm here to represent the people!" — New Jersey state senator
Snapple Facts
#54 The average smell weighs 760 nanograms.
Yo Mama ...
is so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!
One Liners
Q. Five policemen were on a boat. The boat sank. How many policemen died? A. Ten. Five during the accident, and five during the re-enactment.
I went into my proctologist's office for my first rectal exam. His new nurse took me to an examining room and told me to get undressed and have a seat until the doctor could see me. She said that he would only be a few minutes. After putting on the gown that she gave me I sat down.
While waiting I observed that there were three items on a stand next to the exam table: a Tube of K-Y jelly; a rubber glove; and a beer.
When the doctor finally came in I said, "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for, and I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me what the BEER is for?"
At that Doctor Paul became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door. He flung the door open and yelled to his nurse... "Darn it Helen! I said a BUTT LIGHT!"
Personally,I'd rather have the beer.Even if it is a Bud Lite.
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23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopyThe phrase 'rule of thumb' is derived from and old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
