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George W. Bush
 
"We've got pockets of persistent poverty in our society, which I refuse to declare defeat—I mean, I refuse to allow them to continue on. And so one of the things that we're trying to do is to encourage a faith-based initiative to spread its wings all across America, to be able to capture this great compassionate spirit." Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush Re: Small Businesses Location," March 18, 2002 The second edition of the Oxford Dictionary of Phrase, Saying and Quotation recently recognized Bush's er ... contributions to the English language. Under the heading "Bushisms," the dictionary includes such Bush classics as, "We are ready for any unforseen event which may or may not happen."
 
 

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Mr. Perfect

By: tjsherePublished: 07/24/2005
 
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A man walks out into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Jim."

"Who?"

"Jim Bronson. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Jim every single time."

"There are always a few clouds over everybody."

"Not Jim. He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star."

"He was something, huh?"

"He had a memory like a trap. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole neighborhood blacks out."

"No wonder you remember him."

"Well, I never actually met Jim."

"Then how do you know so much about him?"

"I married his widow."

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    This is funny (0 replies)
    started by thegrandpatron
    (07.25.2005 9:28:13 AM EST)


    it's going out to my email buddies.

    Yeah (0 replies)
    started by tjshere
    (07.24.2005 8:57:31 AM EST)


    She has nothing but good things to say about Jim now, but the fact is, Jim died because he wanted to.

    my schween is small but my tongue is mighty!

    I didn't expect (0 replies)  
    started by j9nh
    (07.24.2005 7:46:34 AM EST)

    that punchline! Cute one!

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