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George W. Bush
 
"A lame duck session, for people who don't know what that means, it means the Senate is coming and the House is coming back between now and Christmas and they've got a few days to get some big things done."Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "President Bush Holds Press Conference, Presidential Hall, Dwight D. Eisenhower Executive Office Building," Nov. 7, 2002
 
 

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"I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence, There's a knob called brightness, but it doesn't work."
— Eugene P. Gallagher
 
 

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#162 The temperature of the sun can reach up to 15 million degrees fahrenheit.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex.
 
 

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Q: How do you turn a city girl into a cotton picker?
A: Cut her tampon string.
 
 


Road Rage

By: nitestrmPublished: 04/19/2006
 
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An honest man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow just in front of him. He did the right thing stopping at the crosswalk even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman hit the roof and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection dropping her cell phone and makeup. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer.

The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian Fish emblem on the trunk.

Naturally... I assumed you had stolen the car."

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You must register to participate in this discussion.
lmfao (0 replies)
started by bigjohn2
(04.19.2006 4:09:37 PM EST)

good one..

Waaaaa Hahahahahaha! (0 replies)  
started by tjshere
(04.19.2006 12:16:57 PM EST)


You're on roll, nitestrm. Great joke!

my schween is small but my tongue is mighty!

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