"There's not going to be enough people in the system to take advantage of people like me."-On the coming Social Security crisis; Wilton, Conn.; June 9, 2000
Random Quote
"I'm going to send the injured reserve players out for the toss next time." Mike McCormack, coach of the hapless Baltimore Colts after the team's co-captain, offensive guard Robert Pratt, pulled a hamstring running onto the field for the coin toss against St. Louis (1981)
Snapple Facts
#87 A mile on the ocean and a mile on land are not the same distance.
Yo Mama ...
is so stupid she hears it's chilly outside is so she gets a bowl
One Liners
Q: How do you know you're leading a sad life? A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman wave at him and say hello. He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you Know me?"
To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
Now his mind travels back to the only time he as ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I laid on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped me with wet celery and then stuck a carrot up my butt???"
She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's math teacher."
I hope that guy washed his foot real well before he swallowed it.
Funny as hell, your flawlessness.
Look's like
(0 replies)
  started by
marrakeshman
(05.17.2006 3:36:11 AM EST)
this dumb ass got caught with his pants down!
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