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George W. Bush
 
"If he's - the inference is that somehow he thinks slavery is a - is a noble institution I would - I would strongly reject that assumption - that John Ashcroft is a open-minded, inclusive person."-George W. Bush, Jan. 2001
 
 

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Nurse

By: acidintervalPublished: 11/06/2007
 
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A nurse walks into a bank totally exhausted after a 20 hour shift. Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it. She looks at the flabbergasted teller and without missing a beat says, 'Well, that's great...... That's really great...... Some asshole has my pen."

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