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George W. Bush
 
"Brie and cheese." - Taunting a reporter who recently spent time on the West Coast, Crawford, Texas, Aug. 23, 2001
 
 

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"Yes, ma'am? Right here, this lady. No-she! Yes-right-second rown [pointing]. Next to the guy in the blue shirt, holding her left hand up. It's a he-sorry about that. Gotta be careful. I'm very sorry. Go-ah-I-a thousand aplogies-go ahead."
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The Tearful Bride

By: bd2sonPublished: 08/13/2008
 
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A new young bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him."

"Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding."

"No, mother, you don't understand. I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price!"

"Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate!" says her mom. "Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars."

"No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey, it was the airplane ticket."

"Airplane ticket.... What did you need an airplane ticket for?"

"Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the package and it said - 'Prepare from a frozen state,' so I flew to Alaska!"

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