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George W. Bush
 
"Actually, I...this may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about...when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me."-ibid
 
 

Random Quote
 
"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."
— J. Danforth Quayle
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#88 A ten gallon hat holds less then one gallon of liquid.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so stupid she trips over her cordless phone!
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?
A: Miracle Whip.
 
 


Two Old Men

By: bd2sonPublished: 01/26/2009
 
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Two old men decide they are close to their last days and decide to have a last night on the town. After a few drinks, they end up at the local brothel.

The madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager, "Go up to the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed. These two are so old and drunk, I'm not wasting two of my girls on them. They won't know the difference."

The manager does as he is told and the two old men go upstairs and take care of their business.

As they are walking home the first man says, "You know, I think my girl was dead!"

"Dead?" says his friend, "Why do you say that?"

"Well, she never moved or made a sound all the time I was loving her."

His friend says, "Could be worse, I think mine was a witch.”

"A witch ??....Why the hell would you say that?"

"Well, I was making love to her, kissing her on the neck, and I gave her a little bite, then she farted and flew out the window......Took my teeth with her!!"

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