Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
BakerMedia
Busted Tees
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"I don't bring God into my life to - to, you know, kind of be a political person." - Interview with Tom Brokaw aboard Air Force One, April 24, 2003
 
 

Random Quote
 
"If I sold all my liabilities, I wouldn't own anything. My wife's a liability, my kids are liabilities, and I haven't sold them."
— Ted Turner, on selling off his losing properties
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#60 A tongue is the fastest healing part of the body.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so fat she's got her own area code!
 
 

One Liners
 
Q. What happens if you have sex in the plumbers position?
A. You stay in all day and nobody comes.
 
 


Recently, I Was Diagnosed With A. A. A. D. D.

By: thegrandpatronPublished: 08/27/2006
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide d my car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox, when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

----the car isn't washed,
----the bills aren't paid,
----there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
----the flowers don't have enough water,
----there is still only 1 check in my check book,
----I can't find the remote,
----I can't find my glasses,
---- and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Related Links
  • Old Age
  • Old Age Benefits
  • An Age Old Question
  • Age Old Question
  • Two Old Ladies
  • 92 Year Old Man Fathers Child
  • The little old lady and the bet
  • Remembering The Good Old Days
  • The Old Man
  • Why Old Lady's Buy Cars
  • Dr. Seuss on Aging
  • Old With An Attitude
  • Little Billy On Getting Older
  • Renee Ammann Stoned Age Hooters
  • The Old Neighborhood
  • The Old Mule
  • Guess My Age
  • Retirement
  • Don't Mess With Old People
  • Smart Old Bird

  • More Miscellaneous Jokes...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    I wonder (0 replies)
    started by thegrandpatron
    (08.28.2006 10:28:39 AM EST)


    if the water is still running in the garden hose?

    Haaaaaaahaaaaaaaa (0 replies)  
    started by marrakeshman
    (08.28.2006 9:23:05 AM EST)



    GP, good one here. Hope I get off that light!

    ".....A good woman, good food, good wine and golf are the secrets to heaven on earth......."

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    Golf Club Sign
    Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland ...
    10.12.2009

    Stories Of Pilot/Ground Control Love
    You read the Quantas ...
    09.30.2009

    Negative People
    This is something to think about when negative people ...
    09.08.2009

    Banned From Wal-Mart
    This is why women should Not take men shopping against ...
    05.29.2009

    Rate This!

    3.91 Goofballs of 5
    11 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Unknown Chinese Proverbs
    Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
    11.17.2008

    Suicide Hotline
    Iwas depressed last night so, I called Lifeline.....
    11.14.2008

    Words And Alcohol
    Things that are difficult to say when drunk ...
    11.11.2008

    Mick Jagger's Frog
    A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. ...
    10.09.2008

    Two Years Ago
    Don't You Just Love Engrish?
    Doctors' office, Rome: "SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER ...
    11.19.2007

    Thoughts For The Weekend
    Wouldn't it be nice if ...
    11.17.2007

    Nurse
    A nurse walks into a bank totally exhausted after ...
    11.06.2007

    10 Year Old Blues
    A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about ...
    10.29.2007

    Lookie Here!
    The Spy Who Shagged Me

    Casino Joke
     
    I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
     
     

    Goofball Facts
     
    Cows give more milk when they listen to music!