"There's not going to be enough people in the system to take advantage of people like me."-On the coming Social Security crisis; Wilton, Conn.; June 9, 2000
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"One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in condition for football?" — Darrell Royal, Texas football coach, asked if the abnormal number of Longhorn injuries that season resulted from poor physical conditioning (1966)
Snapple Facts
#86 Until the 19th century solid blocks of tea were used as money in Siberia.
Yo Mama ...
is so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind
One Liners
Q: How do you know you're leading a sad life? A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."
Quick Joke
Don't you feel like
sitting alone in your home, destroying your belongings while at the same time slowly losing all your household money? Try poker online
There were three explorers who were captured by a tribe of
cannibals. The chief approaches them and tells them that there
is only one way that they can be set free; but first they must
go into the forest and retrieve ten of any fruit.
So the first guy comes back with oranges. The chief says that
if he can shove all the oranges up his ass without making a
sound, he's free to go. So the guy starts...one...two...three...four...five...and he screams in
pain. The chief kills him right away.
So the second guy comes back with cherries. The chief says that
if he can shove all the cherries up his ass without making a
sound, he's free to go. So the guy
starts...one...two...three...four...five...six...seven...eight..
.nine...and he starts laughing hysterically. The chief kills
him right away.
So the two guys meet up in heaven. The first says: "What
happened? One more cherry and you would have lived!"
The second replies: "I couldn't help it. I saw the other guy
coming back with pinapples!"
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heh heh
(0 replies)
started by
tedd
(06.23.2000 11:26:11 PM EST)
I am finaly number one. Good joke!
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