Advanced Search
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Cookies must be
enabled to log in



Remember Me?

» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?


Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
Busted Tees
Mike's List


George W. Bush
"One year ago today, the time for excuse-making has come to an end."Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush on Anniversary of No Child Left Behind Act," Jan. 8, 2003

Random Quote
"He ate everything but the drapes... he's a man who does like to put it down."
— Tom Brokaw, on a lunch held by President Clinton with network news anchors

Snapple Facts
#169 The first human-made object to break the sound barrier was a whip.

Yo Mama ...
has one hand and a Clapper.

One Liners
Q: What's the difference between a white gerbil and a brown gerbil?A: The white one got away.

Final Exam

By: JskillsPublished: 12/07/1998
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

INSTRUCTIONS: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions. Time limit: 4 hours. Begin immediately.

HISTORY: Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.

MEDICINE: You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of 198 proof Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.

PUBLIC SPEAKING: 2500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

BIOLOGY: Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.

MUSIC: Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

PSYCHOLOGY: Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Rameses II, Gregory of Nicia, and Hammurabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.

SOCIOLOGY: Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

ENGINEERING: The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed on your desk. You will also find an Instruction Manual, printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.

POLITICAL SCIENCE: There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects if any.

EPISTEMOLOGY: Take a stand for or against truth. Prove the validity of your stand.

ECONOMICS: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist controversy, the wave theory of light. Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the ENGINEERING question.

PHYSICS: Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

PHILOSOPHY: Sketch the development of human thought, estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of

Related Links
  • The exam
  • The Exam
  • Why men should always listen to the instructions of a woman
  • JFK Jr.'s Private Plane Emergency Instructions
  • Athletic College Entrance Exam
  • Prostate Exam
  • Woman's Instruction Booklet
  • Final Finish
  • Highlights of ER admissions
  • Highlights of ER admissions
  • The Big hole
  • Big Joe Penis Enlarger
  • Career Change
  • News Delivery
  • Men's Room Etiquette
  • You Want Me To Do What?
  • The Creation of Life
  • Politically correct ways to say someone is stupid
  • Technically Correct
  • Jackies Joke of the day for June 24, 2000

  • More Miscellaneous Jokes...


    This Section


    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    wow this sux (0 replies)  
    started by hellmo51
    (10.09.2000 9:19:13 AM EST)

    well im 1 but who cares

    HELLMO51 is not responsible for any content which individual users post. reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.

    Most Recent
    Police Report
    A guy gets a call from the Police ...

    Rate This!

    3.03 Goofballs of 5
    101 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Police Report
    A guy gets a call from the Police ...

    Lookie Here!

    Goofball Facts
    The "wild" horses of western North America are actually feral, not wild.