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George W. Bush
 
"The law I sign today directs new funds and new focus to the task of collecting vital intelligence on terrorist threats and on weapons of mass production."Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President Signs 911 Commission Bill," Nov. 27, 2002
 
 

Random Quote
 
"He wants Texas back."
— Tommy Lasorda, Dodger manager, asked what terms Mexican - born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations. (1981)
 
 

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#155 In 1926, the first outdoor mini-golf courses were built on rooftops in NYC.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so slutty that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.
 
 

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Q: Did you hear Bill Clinton got a new job in Washington, DC?
A: Hillary hired him to open her mail!
 
 


Bathroom Chill

By: SeaweedyPublished: 09/03/2000
 
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85-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?"

George replied, "God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (poof!) the light goes on when I pee, and then (poof!) the light goes off when I'm done."

"Wow," commented Dr. Smith, "that's incredible!"

A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. "Thelma," he said, "George is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and (poof!) the light goes on in the bathroom, and then (poof!) the light goes off?"

Thelma exclaimed, "That old fool! He's peeing in the refrigerator again!"

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    Centuries (0 replies)
    started by Rasputin
    (09.04.2000 10:04:04 AM EST)

    This fucking joke is two days older than Jesus C.

    Yeah (0 replies)
    started by retsimgaww
    (09.03.2000 7:19:03 PM EST)

    Ugly Funny...

    ddd

    OLD (0 replies)
    started by Anonymous Goofball
    (09.03.2000 5:59:14 PM EST)

    i've heard this joke a million times

    heh (0 replies)
    started by MANICLAD
    (09.03.2000 12:24:05 PM EST)

    bloody brilliant

    when do I get to be 1st? (0 replies)
    started by rook30505
    (09.03.2000 1:56:01 AM EST)

    Fah q

    Spank my ass!

    this spot is... (0 replies)  
    started by XorsistXtreme
    (09.03.2000 0:54:44 AM EST)

    reserved for the first commentor

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