Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
BakerMedia
Busted Tees
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"One of the interesting initiatives we've taken in Washington, D.C., is we've got these vampire-busting devices. A vampire is a - a cell deal you can plug in the wall to charge your cell phone." - Denver, CO. Aug. 14, 2001
 
 

Random Quote
 
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
— Humphrey Bogart
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#119 The hummingbird is the only bird that can fly backwards.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A: The porcupine has pricks on the outside.
 
 


Near Death Experience

By: prattishPublished: 02/20/2001
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

Three missionaries were traveling through the deep jungle of the Congo when they were captured by a tribe of natives, all three were taken and tied to stakes in front of the whole village, where they were confronted by the Chief and what looked like his assistant.

The Chief began a loud and very emotional speech to the tribe while constantly pointing and waving at the three missionaries. The crowd was beginning to get very riled and excited. Finally the Chief turned to the assistant and started speaking to him in a level calm voice.

The assistant, obviously now an interpreter, turned to the three and said in loud clear English, "You have violated our land, an example must be made to prevent your people from returning!"

He walked up to the first Missionary and asked, "Chi-chi or Death?" With these words, the crowd began cheering and chanting.

Not having the faintest clue what "Chi-chi" was, but knowing full well what Death was, he did not hesitate to shout, "Chi-chi!"

The Chief nodded and repeated, "Chi-chi!" The cheering crowd surged forward and grabbed the man and proceeded to beat and rape him. This went on for some time right in front of the Chief and the other two missionaries. Then after the crowd seemed to mellow, the man was stripped and sent naked running into the jungle in the direction of home.

Now, the assistant walked up to the second missionary and asked, "Chi-chi or Death?" Again, the crowd began cheering and chanting.

Now knowing what "Chi-chi" was, but still fearing Death more, he felt he had little choice, "Chi-chi" he whispered, barely audible, defeat in his eyes.

The Chief nodded and repeated, "Chi-chi!" Again in a near mirror performance, the crowd assaulted and abused the missionary for nearly the exact length of time. With the same result, the man running naked towards the jungle and presumably to home and a therapist.

Now, the assistant walked up to the last missionary and asked again, "Chi-chi or Death?" The crowd cheering and chanting yet again.

A complete study of dignity, the last missionary stood as tall as his bonds would allow and announced with total authority, "I choose Death!"

The crowd went silent. The Chief walked solemnly to the last missionary and spoke to him, the assistant then asked the man, "Chief wants to know if this is what you really want?"

At full lung the man roared out, "I choose Death!"

With this the Chief broke into a wide grin, and the crowd went nuts. As the crowd rushed forward, the Chief screamed, "Death by Chi-chi!"

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Related Links
  • Chris Farley Death Photos
  • Dinner on Death Row
  • I Stress You To Death
  • Death Row Sing Along
  • Death
  • Death of a Treasurer
  • Death Of A Virgin
  • Death of the Doughboy
  • Jail Warden Voyeur Falls to Death
  • Death Is Banned In Spanish Village
  • Blonde Death
  • Death Race 2000
  • Drunken Elephants Trample 4 to Death
  • Woman Is Charged In Microwave Death
  • Death claims 800-pound Exotic Dancer
  • Man Wins Lottery Drinks Himself to Death
  • Train Death Video
  • Australian Death Grip
  • Mom Gives Kids Cold Shoulder Even After Death
  • Death by Viagra

  • More Miscellaneous Jokes...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    There is symbolism used in this joke! (0 replies)
    started by duck888
    (02.20.2001 12:05:52 PM EST)

    The Congo represent Harlem.
    The Tribe represent the Nation of Islam.
    The chief represent Louis Farakan.
    The missionaries represent the New York Police Department.

    Old one (0 replies)
    started by iluvpie
    (02.20.2001 8:43:57 AM EST)

    Heard this in the third grade, except is was death by Unga-Bunga.

    The thing about pussy is that it always wants you to commit to it, but never wants you to actually have it.

    twice is also nice (0 replies)
    started by art187
    (02.20.2001 2:51:21 AM EST)

    yeah

    once again (0 replies)  
    started by samiland
    (02.20.2001 0:06:26 AM EST)

    once again another rerun.

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    Golf Club Sign
    Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland ...
    10.12.2009

    Stories Of Pilot/Ground Control Love
    You read the Quantas ...
    09.30.2009

    Negative People
    This is something to think about when negative people ...
    09.08.2009

    Banned From Wal-Mart
    This is why women should Not take men shopping against ...
    05.29.2009

    Rate This!

    3.05 Goofballs of 5
    19 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Unknown Chinese Proverbs
    Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
    11.17.2008

    Suicide Hotline
    Iwas depressed last night so, I called Lifeline.....
    11.14.2008

    Words And Alcohol
    Things that are difficult to say when drunk ...
    11.11.2008

    Mick Jagger's Frog
    A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. ...
    10.09.2008

    Two Years Ago
    Don't You Just Love Engrish?
    Doctors' office, Rome: "SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER ...
    11.19.2007

    Thoughts For The Weekend
    Wouldn't it be nice if ...
    11.17.2007

    Nurse
    A nurse walks into a bank totally exhausted after ...
    11.06.2007

    10 Year Old Blues
    A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about ...
    10.29.2007

    Lookie Here!
    Our Dumb Century

    Casino Joke
     
    I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
     
     

    Goofball Facts
     
    A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.