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 Presidential Rhyme | | By: Elaine | Published: 02/07/1999 | | |  |
| I did not do it in a car.
I did not do it in a bar.
I did not do it in the dark.
I did not do it in the park.
I did not do it on a date.
I did not ever fornicate.
I did not do it at a dance.
I did not do it in her pants.
I did not get beyond first base.
I did not do it in her face.
I never did it in a bed.
If you think that, you've been misled.
I did not do it with a groan.
I did not do it on the phone.
I did not cause her dress to stain.
I never boinked Saddam Hussein.
I did not do it with a whip.
I never fondled Linda Tripp.
I never acted really silly
With volunteers like Kathleen Willey.
There was one time, with Margaret Thatcher,
I chased her 'round, but could not catch her.
No kinky stuff, not on your life
I wouldn't, even with my wife.
And Gennifer Flowers' tale of woes
Was paid for by my right-wing foes.
And Paula Jones, and those State Troopers
Are just a bunch of party poopers.
I did not ask my friends to lie.
I did not hang them out to dry.
I did not do it last November,
But if I did, I don't remember.
I did not do it in the hall.
I could have, but I don't recall.
I never did it in my study.
I never did it with my dog, Buddy.
I never did it to Sox, the cat.
I might have-once-with Arafat.
I never did it in a hurry.
I never groped Ms. Betty Currie.
There was no sex at Arlington.
There was no sex on Air Force One.
I might have copped a little feel
And then endeavored to conceal.
But never did these things so lewd,
At least, not ever in the nude.
These things to which I have confessed.
They do not count, if we stayed dressed.
It never happened with cigar.
I never dated Mrs. Starr.
I did not know this little sin
Would be retold on CNN.
I broke some rules my Mama taught me.
I tried to hide, but now you've caught me.
But I implore, I do beseech
Do not condemn, do not impeach.
I might have got a little tail
But never, never did inhale.
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