Dad:
Son, come in here, we need to talk.
Son:
What's up, Dad?
Dad:
There's a scratch down the side of the car. Did
you do it?
Son:
No I did not scratch the car.
Dad:
Well, it wasn't there yesterday, and you drove
the car last night, and no one else has driven it since. How
can you explain the scratch?
Son:
Well, as I've said before, I have no recollection
of scratching the car. While it is true that I did take the car
out last night, I did not scratch it.
Dad:
But your sister told me she saw you back the car
against the mailbox at the end of the driveway, heard a loud
scraping sound, saw you get out to examine the car, and then
drive away. So again I'll ask you, yes or no, did you scratch
the car?
Son:
Oh, you mean you think you have evidence to prove
that I scratched it. Well, you see, I understood you to mean
did "I" scratch the car. I stand by my earlier statement, that I
did not scratch the car.
Dad:
Are you trying to tell me you didn't drive the
car into the mailbox?
Son:
Well, you see sir, I was trying to drive the car
into the street. I mishandled the steering of the car, and it
resulted in direct contact with the mailbox, though that was
clearly not my intent.
Dad:
So you are saying that you did hit the
mailbox?
Son:
No sir, that's not my statement. I'll refer you
back to my original statement that I did not scratch the
car.
Dad:
But the car did hit the mailbox, and the car did
get scratched as a result of the contact?
Son:
Well, yes, I suppose you could catagorize it that
way.
Dad:
So you lied to me when you said you did not
scratch the car?
Son:
No. No, that is not correct. Your question was
"Did I scratch the car?" From a strict legal definition, as I
understood the meaning of that sentence, I did not scratch the
car... the mailbox did... I was
merely present when the
scratching occurred. So my answer of "No" when you asked "Did I
scratch the car" was legally correct, although I did not
volunteer information.
Dad:
Where did you learn to talk like a complete
idiot?
Son:
From the President of the United States.
