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Clinton 2031

By: RobnoxiousPublished: 08/31/2000
 
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Subject: Clinton
The year: 2031

President Clinton finishes his time on earth and approaches the Pearly Gates of Heaven. "And who might you be?" inquires St. Peter.

"It's me, Bill Clinton, formerly the President of the United States and Leader of the Free World."

"Oh... Mr. President! What may I do for you?" asks St. Peter.

"I'd like to come in," replies Clinton.

"Sure," says the Saint. "But first you have to confess your sins. What bad things have you done in your life?"

Clinton bites his lip and answers, "Well, I tried marijuana, but you can't call it 'dope smoking' because I didn't inhale. There were inappropriate extramarital relationships, but you can't call it 'adultery' because I didn't have full 'sexual relations.' And I made some statements that were misleading, but legally accurate, but you can't call it 'bearing false witness' because, as far as I know, it didn't meet the legal standard of perjury."

With that St. Peter consults the Book of Life briefly, and declares, "OK, here's the deal. We'll send you somewhere hot, but we won't call it 'Hell.' You'll be there indefinitely, but we won't call it 'eternity.' And when you enter, you don't have to "abandon all hope," just don't hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over."

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    Good Joke!!!!!!! (0 replies)
    started by tub
    (05.01.2001 1:50:26 PM EST)

    That sorry cock-sucking son of a bitch will burn in hell for eternity. I thought Jimmy Carter was the worst, but Billy-boy took the cake....the fucking puss-wad Democrats can't field a decent man for the presidency, therefore they run these losers who will lie their immoral asses off.

    For all you Democrats who don't like this joke: FUCK YOU!!!!!!

    Al Gore is and always will be a dangerous idiot. The Democratic Party are all Radical Politically Correct facist pigs who want to take away your freedom.

    opposed (0 replies)
    started by BlossomPuff
    (09.13.2000 7:24:38 PM EST)

    nay

    Blossom

    Your SISTER, and leader, DON'T YOU FORGET IT!

    Watch out what you say! (1 reply)
    started by Anonymous Goofball
    (08.31.2000 12:15:04 PM EST)

    People who bad-mouth the president (or Gore or Hillary) usually end up getting audited by the IRS.

    Oh, one more thing... (0 replies)
    started by oliverclozoff
    (08.31.2000 0:42:28 AM EST)


    ...all the demons will be having inappropriate relations with your anal cavity, but we won't call it getting butt-raped till your hemorrhoids hang like the grapes of wrath!



    Fellow, American Association of Amateur Gynecologists

    Define 'is'... (0 replies)
    started by greenapplesplatters
    (08.31.2000 0:34:32 AM EST)

    Clinton's an ass-sucking, parasitic, lying, draft-dodging, two-faced weasel of a son-of-a-bitch. Having said that, the joke still sucked.

    FIRST YET AGAIN (0 replies)  
    started by crazyden
    (08.31.2000 0:11:20 AM EST)

    THIS IS OK

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