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George W. Bush
 
"It's important for [the United Nations'] words to mean what they say, andas we head into the 21st century, Mark, when it comes to our security, wereally don't need anybody's permission."—Bush, during a press conference in 2003 (in the 21st century) Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President George Bush Discusses Iraq inNational Press Conference," March 6, 2003
 
 

Random Quote
 
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
— Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice. (1982)
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#153 The speed limit in NYC was 8 mph in 1895.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so hairy she looks like a Chia Pet with an Afro!
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: What do you call the blonde corpse in your attic?
A: 1995 hide-and-seek champion!
 
 

Quick Joke
 
Don't you feel like sitting alone in your home, destroying your belongings while at the same time slowly losing all your household money? Try poker online
 
 


Three Arkansas Surgeons

By: bd2sonPublished: 09/01/2007
 
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Three Arkansas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Arkansas. In my favorite case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.”

The second surgeon said. "That's nothing. A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in track and field events in the Olympics.”

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a woman was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the woman's blonde hair and the horse's ass. I was able to put them together and now she's running for President!”

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