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Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
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George W. Bush |
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"It's important for [the United Nations'] words to mean what they say, andas we head into the 21st century, Mark, when it comes to our security, wereally don't need anybody's permission."—Bush, during a press conference in 2003 (in the 21st century) Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President George Bush Discusses Iraq inNational Press Conference," March 6, 2003
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Random Quote |
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"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
— Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice. (1982)
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Snapple Facts |
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#153 The speed limit in NYC was 8 mph in 1895.
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Yo Mama ... |
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is so hairy she looks like a Chia Pet with an Afro!
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One Liners |
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Q: What do you call the blonde corpse in your attic?
A: 1995 hide-and-seek champion!
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Quick Joke |
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Don't you feel like
sitting alone in your home, destroying your belongings while at the same time slowly losing all your household money? Try poker online
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 Three Arkansas Surgeons | | By: bd2son | Published: 09/01/2007 | | |  |
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Three Arkansas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Arkansas. In my favorite case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.”
The second surgeon said. "That's nothing. A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in track and field events in the Olympics.”
The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a woman was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the woman's blonde hair and the horse's ass. I was able to put them together and now she's running for President!”
Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com? | | | | Related Links
Arkansas Sex Test
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My Three Wishes
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Casino Joke |
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I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
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Goofball Facts |
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Roosters can't crow if they can't fully extend their necks.
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