SOCIALISM
You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk.
FASCISM
You have two cows. The government takes them both and sells you the milk.
NAZISM
You have two cows. The government takes them both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRACY
You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours it down the drain.
CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
LAWYERISM
You see two cows and note that the milk from same has not been labelled
"Contains
lactose." You find 20 lactose-intolerant people, start a class action suit against
the owner of the cows, the regional dairy cooperative, the distributor and the grocery
store chain. You settle out of court for $1,000,000. Lactose intolerant milk drinkers get 10
cents each. You get $333,333. You act surprised when the owner goes berserk, shoots
the cows and moves to Mexico. You feign astonishment when the dairy co-op goes out of
business. Congress passes a law making your job easier the next time.
