Application to live in Mississippi
By: Anonymous	Published: 03/19/1999
APPLICATION TO LIVE IN MISSISSIPPI Name: ________________________ C.B. handle: ___________________ Address: (r.f.d. - h.c.r.) ____________________________________ Daddy (if unknown, attach list of 3 suspects): ________________ Mama: _________________________________________________________ Neck shade: ( ) light red ( ) medium red ( ) dark red Number of teeth exposed in full grin: _______ upper: _______ lower: ______ Make of pickup owned: ___________ size of tires: _____________ Number of empty beer cans on floor of pickup: ________________ Truck equipped with: ( ) gun rack ( ) mud flaps ( ) camper top ( ) air horn ( ) 8 track ( ) 4 wheel drive ( ) American flag ( ) rust ( ) fuzz buster ( ) load of wood ( ) hijack shocks ( ) mud tires ( ) spittoon ( ) running boards ( ) C.B. antennas ( ) roll bar Bumper stickers: ( ) Honk if you're horny ( ) Honk if you love Jesus ( ) Almost heaven, bucksport ( ) Snatch kisses and vice Versa ( ) Old fart ( ) I love hiney wine ( ) Shit happens ( ) Redman chewing tobacco ( ) Wood is wonderful ( ) Save the black fly ( ) Don't like my driving? Call 1-800-eat-shit ( ) All you ecological bastards can freeze in the dark Favorite beverage: ( ) Busch ( ) Stag ( ) Old Style ( ) Falstaff ( ) Buckhorn ( ) Red white & blue ( ) Budweiser ( ) Old Milwaukee Favorite vocalist: ( ) Elvis ( ) Conway Twitty ( ) Loretta Lynn ( ) Slim Whitman ( ) Johnny Cash ( ) Willie Nelson ( ) Dick Curtis ( ) George JJones ( ) Yourself in the shower Favorite recreation: ( ) square dancing ( ) fishing with the boys ( ) drinking ( ) blue grass fest ( ) fishing alone ( ) race track ( ) floating ( ) deer hunting ( ) apple butter fest ( ) three wheeling ( ) rodeo How many cars do you have up on blocks in your front yard? ___________ How many kitchen appliances are on your front porch? ____ how many work? __ Number of hounds: _________ type: ( ) blue tick ( ) beagle ( ) black/tan Memberships: ( ) NRA ( ) VFW ( ) PTL club ( ) Ducks unlimited ( ) Fish & Game club ( ) KKK ( ) Wacky Warriors ( ) Elks Baseball Cap Emblem: ( ) John Deere ( ) Ford ( ) Skoal ( ) Sat ( ) Budweiser ( ) Chevy ( ) Bass Pro ( ) Eat Me Are you married to any of the following? (check all that apply) ( ) sister ( ) cousin ( ) cousin's sister ( ) sow Does your wife weight more than your pickup? ( ) yes ( ) no Do you wear mostly polyester pants with snags? ( ) yes ( ) no Do you own any shoes (not counting boots)? If so, how many? _____________ Length of right leg: _______________ length of left leg: ________________ Can you sign your name and spell it correctly every time? ( ) yes ( ) no Have you ever had more than one bath a week? ( ) yes ( ) no Are you a registered voter? ________ do you know where to do it? _______ Do you wonder if you need to file a tax return? ( ) yes ( ) no Do you worry that your house will blow away in high winds? ( ) yes ( ) no When was your last UFO sighting? ___________ elvis sighting? __________ Medical information (do you have at least two of the following?): ( ) b.o. ( ) crabs ( ) head lice ( ) bad breath ( ) scabies ( ) yellow teeth ( ) green teeth ( ) fleas ( ) runny nose ( ) tattoos ( ) crossed eyes ( ) stutter Signature (one `x' will do) ____________ dated: ___________ Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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Alabama (0 replies) started by TwiztidPimp (02.16.2001 3:21:51 AM EST) Mississippi is not like that, i was bron there and it is not like that, granted i only lived there for 10 years, but still. now alabama, redneck city baby!!!

funny ha ha (0 replies) started by johnfw45 (09.19.2000 12:41:37 PM EST) i live here and most of this is true

mississippi (0 replies)   started by Anonymous Goofball (07.13.2000 7:06:41 PM EST) fisrt of all i have to speel it out, so there for i'm not filing in the app ha ha ha

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