Application to live in Mississippi
By: Anonymous	Published: 03/19/1999
APPLICATION TO LIVE IN MISSISSIPPI Name: ________________________ C.B. handle: ___________________ Address: (r.f.d. - h.c.r.) ____________________________________ Daddy (if unknown, attach list of 3 suspects): ________________ Mama: _________________________________________________________ Neck shade: ( ) light red ( ) medium red ( ) dark red Number of teeth exposed in full grin: _______ upper: _______ lower: ______ Make of pickup owned: ___________ size of tires: _____________ Number of empty beer cans on floor of pickup: ________________ Truck equipped with: ( ) gun rack ( ) mud flaps ( ) camper top ( ) air horn ( ) 8 track ( ) 4 wheel drive ( ) American flag ( ) rust ( ) fuzz buster ( ) load of wood ( ) hijack shocks ( ) mud tires ( ) spittoon ( ) running boards ( ) C.B. antennas ( ) roll bar Bumper stickers: ( ) Honk if you're horny ( ) Honk if you love Jesus ( ) Almost heaven, bucksport ( ) Snatch kisses and vice Versa ( ) Old fart ( ) I love hiney wine ( ) Shit happens ( ) Redman chewing tobacco ( ) Wood is wonderful ( ) Save the black fly ( ) Don't like my driving? Call 1-800-eat-shit ( ) All you ecological bastards can freeze in the dark Favorite beverage: ( ) Busch ( ) Stag ( ) Old Style ( ) Falstaff ( ) Buckhorn ( ) Red white & blue ( ) Budweiser ( ) Old Milwaukee Favorite vocalist: ( ) Elvis ( ) Conway Twitty ( ) Loretta Lynn ( ) Slim Whitman ( ) Johnny Cash ( ) Willie Nelson ( ) Dick Curtis ( ) George JJones ( ) Yourself in the shower Favorite recreation: ( ) square dancing ( ) fishing with the boys ( ) drinking ( ) blue grass fest ( ) fishing alone ( ) race track ( ) floating ( ) deer hunting ( ) apple butter fest ( ) three wheeling ( ) rodeo How many cars do you have up on blocks in your front yard? ___________ How many kitchen appliances are on your front porch? ____ how many work? __ Number of hounds: _________ type: ( ) blue tick ( ) beagle ( ) black/tan Memberships: ( ) NRA ( ) VFW ( ) PTL club ( ) Ducks unlimited ( ) Fish & Game club ( ) KKK ( ) Wacky Warriors ( ) Elks Baseball Cap Emblem: ( ) John Deere ( ) Ford ( ) Skoal ( ) Sat ( ) Budweiser ( ) Chevy ( ) Bass Pro ( ) Eat Me Are you married to any of the following? (check all that apply) ( ) sister ( ) cousin ( ) cousin's sister ( ) sow Does your wife weight more than your pickup? ( ) yes ( ) no Do you wear mostly polyester pants with snags? ( ) yes ( ) no Do you own any shoes (not counting boots)? If so, how many? _____________ Length of right leg: _______________ length of left leg: ________________ Can you sign your name and spell it correctly every time? ( ) yes ( ) no Have you ever had more than one bath a week? ( ) yes ( ) no Are you a registered voter? ________ do you know where to do it? _______ Do you wonder if you need to file a tax return? ( ) yes ( ) no Do you worry that your house will blow away in high winds? ( ) yes ( ) no When was your last UFO sighting? ___________ elvis sighting? __________ Medical information (do you have at least two of the following?): ( ) b.o. ( ) crabs ( ) head lice ( ) bad breath ( ) scabies ( ) yellow teeth ( ) green teeth ( ) fleas ( ) runny nose ( ) tattoos ( ) crossed eyes ( ) stutter Signature (one `x' will do) ____________ dated: ___________ Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
Related Links Loan Application in New Orleans White House Internship Application Bank Robber Arrested for Urinating in Public What state mottos should be What state mottos should be New State Mottos Desperately Seeking Technical Support Desperately Seeking Technical Support A Born Salesman Remember When ... Dilbert's Words of Wisdom Dilbert's Words of Wisdom Dilbert's Words of Wisdom Signs the Apocalypse is Upon Us Signs the Apocalypse is Upon Us Scots need your sperm! The Meaning of Life Game How to dump a girlfriend How To Dump A Man Coporate Memorandum
More Regional Jokes...
Search   Advanced Search   This Section

ARTICLE FORUM THREAD

Title:	funny ha ha
By:	johnfw45
Date:	09.19.2000 12:41 PM EST

i live here and most of this is true

[ All Posts ] [ Reply ] [ Where You Are ] [ New Thread ]

Current Thread and Replies

funny ha ha   started by johnfw45 (09.19.2000 12:41:37 PM EST) i live here and most of this is true

You must register to participate in this discussion.

Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.