"First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill."Bush, speaking about terrorism and poverty Source: Public Papers of the Presidents, "The President's News Conference WithPresident Macapagal-Arroyo of the Philippines," May 26, 2003
Random Quote
"I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was 'You'll never find anyone like me again!' I'm thinking, 'I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?'" Larry Miller, Comedian
Snapple Facts
#218 A jackrabbit can travel more than 12 feet in one hop.
Yo Mama ...
so ugly that when she looks at a glass of milk it turns to cheese.
One Liners
Q: Why do women close their eyes during sex? A: They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.
You might be a redneck if ...
By: Anonymous
Published: 01/01/2000
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
Last year you hid Easter eggs under cow pies.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
Jack Daniels makes your list of "Most Admired People."
You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey, y'all watch this!"
You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl.'
You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
You go to your family reunion looking for a date.
Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen, start your engines."
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
You take a six-pack cooler to church.
You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.
The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it has in it.
You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
One of your kids was born on a pool table.
Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.
You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.
Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a law against it.
You dated one of your parents' current spouses in high school.
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
You must register to participate in this discussion.
redneck humor
(0 replies)
started by
jannypoo
(10.30.2000 8:56:17 PM EST)
these should get ya going!
life is too short to be taken too seriously. carpe diem.
Nick D
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(07.26.2000 5:44:57 PM EST)
You might be a redneck if you think that the ADA stands for American Dairy Association.
Nick D
(0 replies)
  started by
Anonymous Goofball
(07.26.2000 5:44:17 PM EST)
You might be a redneck if you think that th ADA stands for American Dairy Association.
Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.
Most Recent
3rd Grade Exam Miss Sally Edwards is a highly esteemed third grade ...
09.29.2009
Redneck Vasectomy After having their 11th child, a redneck couple on welfare decided that their family finally was big enough, their monthly check wasn't big enough for them to rent a bigger trailer, and they were both too lazy to go get a job.
10.30.2007