Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
BakerMedia
Busted Tees
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"I do remain confident in Linda. She'll make a fine labor secretary. From what I've read in the press accounts, she's perfectly qualified." - Austin, Texas, Jan. 8, 2001
 
 

Random Quote
 
"We talked five times. I called him twice, and he called me twice."
— Angels coach Larry Bowa on off-season converarions with Reds' Stan Jefferson
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#73 The average person spends 2 weeks of it's life waiting for a traffic light to change.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her
 
 

One Liners
 
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.
 
 


The Texas Ranger and The Yankee

By: thegrandpatronPublished: 02/04/2004
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

A Texas Ranger pulled over a red Porsche (inhabited by a Yankee) after it had run a stop sign. He walked up to the car door and said, "Sir, May I see your driver's license and registration please?"

The Yankee said, "What's the problem, officer?"

"You just ran the stop sign back there at the last intersection."

"Oh, come on pal, there wasn't a car within miles of me!"

"Nevertheless sir, you are required to come to a complete stop, look both ways, and proceed with caution."

"You gotta be kidding me!

"It's no joke, sir".

"Look, I slowed down almost to a complete stop, saw no one within twenty miles, and proceeded with caution."

"That's beside the point, sir. You are supposed to come to a complete stop, and you didn't. Now if I may see your license and..."

"You've got a lot of time on your hands, PAL! What's the matter, all the doughnut shops closed?

"Sir, I'll overlook that last comment. Let me see your license and registration immediately!"

"I will, if you can tell me the difference between slowing down, and coming to a complete stop."

The elderly Ranger had enough and said to the driver, "Sir, I can do better than that." He opened the car door, dragged the obnoxious motorist out, and proceeded to methodically beat him over the head with his nightstick.

"Now sir, would you like me to slow down or come to a complete stop?"

This is why we Texans love our Texas Rangers. Teaching by example is not a lost art in Texas.

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Related Links
  • Cop In Trouble Over Name
  • Piranha Fished Out Of Texas Lake
  • Cop Strips Law Enforcement to Bare Essentials
  • Errant Cop Gets Lost On Way to Station
  • Kinky Cop Begs for Help After Losing Handcuff Key
  • Texas Hot Stick
  • Texas Hot Plate
  • Texas Designated Driver
  • Cop Stick Party Trick
  • A Texas Fireplace
  • Cop A Feel
  • New Cop In Mayberry
  • Stop A Cop
  • Kindergarten Cop Soundboard
  • Tennessee vs. Texas
  • Undercover Cop
  • The Mouths of Texas Are Upon You...
  • ´Chalupa´ Criminal Charges Cops
  • 'COPS' Producer Is A Real 'Bad Boy' Himself
  • Chubby Cops Sacrificed to the Volcano

  • More Regional Jokes...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    what? (0 replies)
    started by simonsez
    (02.04.2004 11:04:34 PM EST)

    huh? zzzzzzzzzzzzz


    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
    I think (0 replies)
    started by bigjohn2
    (02.04.2004 9:32:30 PM EST)

    I grew a beard ...lmfao

    Jeeesss (0 replies)
    started by thegrandpatron
    (02.04.2004 9:21:27 AM EST)


    That's alot longer than I remembered it.

    No, Clitic (0 replies)
    started by tjshere
    (02.04.2004 3:53:42 AM EST)


    Ol' Yeller had died of old age by then.

    Hahahahahaha.

    my schween is small but my tongue is mighty!

    One question (0 replies)  
    started by thecritic
    (02.04.2004 0:38:28 AM EST)


    did he reach over in the back seat, drag Old Yeller out and kick his ass too?

    hahahahaha

    Cowboys ain't easy to love

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    3rd Grade Exam
    Miss Sally Edwards is a highly esteemed third grade ...
    09.29.2009

    And There Will Be Balance
    God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, ...
    07.23.2009

    Texas Sheriff Job Interview
    A man seeking to join a south Texas Sheriff's Department ...
    02.04.2009

    Nordakota Cow...
    Ole is a farmer in Minnesota. He is in need of a new ...
    01.25.2009

    Rate This!

    3.73 Goofballs of 5
    15 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    You Grew Up In Rural Iowa If . . .
    For all you Iowa wanna be's and those who love Iowan's, ...
    10.14.2008

    Mason Vs. Dixon
    A University of Georgia student was visiting a Yankee ...
    05.24.2008

    How To Install A Home Security System In The South
    1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's ...
    02.25.2008

    Oklahoma Leads In Communication History
    Last January the New Orleans Times Picayune reported ...
    01.23.2008

    Two Years Ago
    Redneck Vasectomy
    After having their 11th child, a redneck couple on welfare decided that their family finally was big enough, their monthly check wasn't big enough for them to rent a bigger trailer, and they were both too lazy to go get a job.
    10.30.2007

    The NZ Shipwreck Survivors
    A New Zealander, a sheep and a dog were survivors ...
    08.30.2007

    A Redneck's Pet
    On a hot summer day in Pennsylvania, a redneck came into town with his dog ...
    07.25.2007

    Ghost Sex
    A professor at University of Arkansas was giving a ...
    07.09.2007

    Lookie Here!
    The Spy Who Shagged Me

    Casino Joke
     
    I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
     
     

    Goofball Facts
     
    The daiquiri cocktail takes its name from the village of Daiquiri near Santiago, Cuba where it originated around 1900.